Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Writer's Workshop: Peeved

Mama Kat's Writing Workshop prompts are a little random this week, and I had a visceral reaction to each one that I'm willing to share:

The Prompts:

1.) If you were starring on American Idol TONIGHT and HAD to sing, what song would you choose and why. Don't watch it.
2.) Take a picture of yourself right this minute without primping and explain to us why it is you have not washed your hair today. H-E-L-L-S, NO! (my hair was NOT washed.)
3.) I just asked Pat to help me with a writing prompt so here's his: "What do you think about the NBA All Star game"...blech. I was forced to watch the opening 'ceremony' thing where they all got some ring and didn't even look into the cameras when the crowds cheered. Egos.
4.) What's your number one pet peeve? Develop a punishment for anyone caught in the act. Arrow down.
5.) Write about something mean you did to a sibling growing up. How about what they did to me? And are still doing to me, 30 years later?! Separate post.

Say you're riding in someone else's car, they're driving. You approach a stoplight, and there are 10 cars lined up in the left lane, but the right lane is completely empty. Lonely. And your friend pulls right up behind that 10th car, becoming 11th, irritating you? Yep.
*Punishment: they don't ever get to drive a car again. Just bikes, mopeds and razor scooters.

You know when you're reading something, say a magazine, or newspaper, high-brow piece of literature or trashy tabloid. You clearly aren't doing anything really important, so your companion (or husband, or mother, or sister) pipes up and starts reading aloud what they are reading?
*Punishment: they will be read aloud to for one hour each morning at dawn.

How about when you type out that lengthy, perfect email response. You've thought about it. Chosen your words wisely. gotten it just.. so. And MS Outlook (or Explorer, or your whole laptop) shuts down. That little screen that pops up, wanting to know if you'd like to talk about it? "Send" or "Don't Send"?
*Punishment: Microsoft loses the world domination quest and Apple acquires it as a division.

What about when you pour yourself the perfect cup of coffee, and let it sit until it is the perfect temperature? Then something happens, life most likely, and you come back to it to find it utterly cold and tasting like motor oil? Man.
*Punishment: haven't we suffered enough?

Someone leaving the gallon of milk out on the counter. Or the butter? Or that continuous "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound a toddler makes in the back seat when trying to vie for your attention.
*Punishment: hang upside down by the toenails.

Mostly, I hate that other people get irritated by tiny, inconsequential little things that they know deep down are trivial and don't enter into the same galaxy as "important" and thus should just be let go. Oh wait, that's me.

Wow, where did we go there, for a second? That was a pretty bad trip! Ok. I have something fun planned for tomorrow, promise, and it doesn't involve whining or complaining. Promise!


J Cosmo Newbery February 18, 2009 at 9:26 PM  

Well, that was cheap therapy!

Jeanne Estridge February 19, 2009 at 3:01 AM  

When I was a teenager, my parents made me drag along my sister, who is six years younger than me. I was, consequently, very mean to her. (That was before I achieved the grace and wisdom I have today.) She has freckles and I once told her she looked like someone had "dabbed shit on her face with a paintbrush." The punishment? Continuing to hear about it for the next 40 years.

Anonymous,  February 19, 2009 at 4:15 AM  

I like that the punishments fit the crime.

I wonder how many poeple I unknowinly annoy on a daily basis?

(BTW - 17 comments on guest post - pretty darn cool...)

buffalodick February 19, 2009 at 6:59 AM  

Punishment should always be commeasurate with the crime. If pissing people off was a crime, I'd be doing hard time for life...

Debbie February 19, 2009 at 7:09 AM  

I'm with you on all of these!
And the closing down of your web browser, I have one word for you - Firefox. Once I switched to it, I can mark that little pet peeve off:)

CDB February 19, 2009 at 11:26 AM  

@Cosmo: I nearly said your statement in the post. It was.
@Jeanne: I still remind my older siblings what they did to me. And will continue!
@Kim: so glad you wonder the same things I do!
@Buffalo: ditto. Though I don't want to do that on my blog. too late!
@Debbie: thank you for that reminder! I've been meaning to download FF!

Kitten February 19, 2009 at 11:49 AM  

I'm with you on the MS Outlook. I've composed and lost many a blog post in a similar fashion. And I'm with you on the coffee thing, too.

Thanks for stopping by my place! It was nice to meet you!

Jennifer February 19, 2009 at 3:32 PM  

I solved the email or computer shutting down problem by just getting a Mac.....BINGO, problem solved. PC's are overrated!

mielikki February 19, 2009 at 4:24 PM  

that was awesome. I especially like Microsuck becoming a division of Apple. Because I so love my Mac.

Jenners February 19, 2009 at 7:28 PM  

If only the one about Microsoft could come true!!!!!! I wish, I wish, I wish!

Great job with this!

Dani February 19, 2009 at 7:32 PM  

I love the hang them upside-down by the toenails. I have that kid in the backseat! :) Thanks for dropping by to let me know you liked my poem. That picture they used for the prompt is of your child? So cute! Glad you liked the poem.

Paige February 19, 2009 at 9:24 PM  

Oh man, am I with you on the shutting down of the window right when you are making a super brilliant post

That is my excuse for being boring for the past few months--all the good stuff was lost in space

KatBouska February 20, 2009 at 1:12 PM  

I like whining AND complaining. I just don't like listening to my three year old do it. :)

And you're right...I noticed not all the workshop participants like to tell me how brilliant my post is, so I make sure and try to return the love to those who shared it with me. Like you. :) Thank you!

Angela Tolsma February 21, 2009 at 11:22 AM  

hanging upside down by the toenails. should have threatened that with my younger siblings!!



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