RTT: Ruptured Toes and Tumbling

Yes, I broke my left pinkie toe on Sunday. How random is that?! I actually did it just so I'd have something to post about for Random Tuesday thoughts. Um, no.

Let's recap a little. I'm pregnant. 25 weeks or so (I think? Who keeps track of these things,) which means my belly is OUT THERE. I have a two-year old toddler boy. Who likes to run away in the opposite direction, especially towards oncoming traffic.

We are leaving on our summer vacation on Friday.

So yes, this really could not be better timing, with the broken toe and all. I'll share a funny story about taking myself to the doctor for it on Monday, which all of you busy Moms (and everyone) can relate to.. since when we become adults, there just is not enough time to take ourselves to the doctor. And then we'll move on.
Primary Care Physician: "So, how did you do this?"
Me: "Welllll, I'm teaching this tumbling class to preschoolers on Sundays... and... "
PCP: "I see. Does this hurt? Yes? Okay, it's broken."
Me: [Under my breath swear word. Toddler is present. Taking the air vent out of the floor. Putting it back.]
PCP: "Since we don't cast for toes, no point in doing an x-ray. What you do, is just take an ice cream cone..."
Me: "Ice Cream Cone?" (She's Iranian. I know what she means, but want her to work for this co-pay today.)
PCP: "Yes, you take the thing, the stick, and put it behind.. then wrap the toes with the medical tape.. "
Me: "Do you have any of the medical tape here, we could wrap it now?"
PCP: [Laughing] "Oh, no. We aren't orthopedic surgeons." Silly patient.
Me: "Aha. So I get some medical tape and wrap the two toes? Anything for the pain?"
PCP: "Ah yes. You may take the aspirin."
Me: "Um, isn't it .. the Tylenol, I take, now that I'm close to the third trimester?"
PCP: "Right. Tylenol. NOT ibuprofen. In case you delivered today, you wouldn't stop bleeding."

Hm. I'm pretty sure there is a very rare but serious condition involving a hole in the fetal heart that will prematurely close if a pregnant Mom takes Ibuprofen, but I say nothing. Who am I?

In other random news, Jillian chose Ed. ED? Jillian, really? Ed, the cheese-face that wears tight green shorts from a 70s basketball team? Aarrrgh.

In other random news, did you all know that 'pinky' toe is actually spelled 'pinkie'? Fascinating.

Go see Keely for more actual randomness. My toe hurts too much to generate more randomness.

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RTT: It's Tuesday! (Is It Only Tuesday?)

It just feels like more week has passed than that. I guess that means we have lives.

They say that when you have kids, life is never ever (ever) the same. I would surmise most new parents fight off this inevitable truth, but in our case, I would absolutely confirm it. Yesterday, I realized it's just not worth fighting. And we can all agree on how stupendously wonderful and worth it parenting is, but yes. We hand over the keys to our lives and our child promptly begins teething on them. Then hiding them. Then tossing them into drain covers. Then using them to drive the car.

Take yesterday, for example. I had three very in-depth, very detailed, very lengthy conversations about potty training with three people from very different aspects of my life: one near stranger, one new friend, and my husband. The conversations were essentially around the same theme: "Potty training is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." Our lives really are not our own.

Have you ever seen that bumper sticker, "Commit Random Acts of Kindness?" What a Disaster if the K was rubbed off, and a passerby interpreted this as "Commit Random Acts of Blindness", walking out into oncoming traffic.

My husband and I got into a debate last night at dinner over what year the Challenger disaster happened. I was referencing the event as "the event" that my generation remembers from their childhood, like the Kennedy assassination for our parents. Where we were sitting. Whom was around us at the time. What we thought about it. Just thinking for a moment.. do you remember what year the terrible Challenger tragedy happened? I'll give you the answer at the end of the post.

Every morning for the past week, I've been waking up with a different random song in my head, some for no obvious reason. Yesterday was "Don't Speak", and I blame credit Keely with her No Doubt references.. check her out today at Un-Mom.

So, the answer. What was your guess? Was it January 28, 1986? Then you're right.
I guessed 1984, having pictured the classroom I was sitting in at the time.

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RTT: Bad Drivers and Other

The cool thing about blogging is you keep doing it. No matter your mood (swings), habit-forming complaints or hormonal shifts. You get to piece together your own roller coaster before everyone's very eyes!

Tuesdays are one of my favorite days thanks to Keely at the Un-Mom. This is the way my brain functions anyway, so why not drag you all along for the ride?

I got rear-ended. Craziest thing. Pulling out of the supermarket parking lot, focusing on the traffic to the left, then to the right, then BAM! (Really loud BAM.) It took me a second to register what had just happened, then to shift into park, then check my toddler. Oh! And then check myself because I'm pregnant. The culprit came careening around to the driver's window, asking if I was okay and begging me to let him go, he had no insurance, there was no damage, please ma'am, just let me go.. I'm really sorry but I really need to go.

Hm. Well, think about that the next time you forget where your brake peddle is. I checked the bumper. I checked his face for the desperation index. It was pretty high. I let him go. Drove home. (We're fine though, no damage. Yet. I'll let y'all know if my bumper falls off tomorrow.)

We put another offer on a different house! A better house. More on that later.

I taught a couple toddler classes this morning at our local Rec Center and was bushed. My toddler wanted to play with the vending machine buttons. Perfect! I put a dollar in and he chose a Gatorade for me. It was a Gatorade AM. It is called "SHINE ON". I'd like to adopt that as my new motto, as my emotional turmoil of late keeps me guessing daily.

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

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RTT: True Random Tantrums

I've never called one of those "How Am I Driving?" numbers on the back of random trucks, buses, 18-wheelers, soccer moms and cell phone drivers. But today, I came close. This auto-parts store truck had a bright yellow one on his bumper. He wasn't going fast enough to keep up with my next destination, and I couldn't get around him. I caught an air of smugness in his rear view mirror and nearly picked up my phone.

I once rode horses in my younger "free time is free" days. I knew you were never to feed a horse while he/she was still hot, lest bad things happen. I've always assumed this was true with large breed dogs as well, because of bloat. So, I make my two Labs wait until they've cooled off a bit after they come in from the heat, before having dinner. Tonight, we were running late and I sat them down to begin the dinner routine (after the toddler was done. What kind of mom do you think I am?) They were sitting in their spots, my female yellow Lab perfectly still, while my male Lab, Echo, was panting his black-furred butt off.
I swear I saw her nudge Echo:
"Dude! Shut up! She's never going to feed us if you don't shut your damn snout!"

Watching reality television usually winds up making me feel better about myself/my life. Is that bad to admit?

I have begun writing some seriously deep, soul-seeking posts lately...then never posted them. I think I'm getting ready to ramp them up soon. So... strap in! I at least will commit to write more than 1X/week!

Go visit Keely at her place, it's much more random than here. Though, this was pretty random.

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RTT? Potty Mouth

I have something random for ya. We are deeply in the throes of potty training at our house. Rock the House.

I had such a dearth of good, interesting, funny stories on my blog last week, that I plan to more than make up for it this week. If you've never had a child, or your potty training was seamless and easy, you may want to skip this post. I just can't relate.

On Saturday morning, I heard my newly-turned two year old alternating between crying, and talking to himself. Gentle crying, then yammer yammer to (conceivably) his various animals and blankets that accompany him in his crib nightly. It was early, I still had sleep in my eyes, but I was intrigued. He doesn't normally alternate crying with jabbering.

I opened the door, and subtly contained my shock, disgust and dismay as I found my toddler, buck naked in his crib, holding on to one of his poops.

That's right. Holding on to it, as if he just wasn't ready to let that one go.. yet.

I quelled my guttural reactions (puking, acting nauseated), and whisked him to the toilet next door, explaining where it is we go poop. I then scrubbed his hands for about an hour several minutes, while my bleary-eyed husband stumbled in, still half-asleep, asking what was going on. I actually didn't have to say anything. The naked hand washing gave it away!

We started officially potty training last week, at the encouragement of our pediatrician, who told me that 1) because our toddler is interested, 2) because it's warm and summery, finally, and 3) I'm not due until November, now is the time.

We've had a few other acrimonious accidents. He peed on the ottoman. He peed on his brand new MegaBloks tractor. He pooped on his toddler chair. Okay, so they aren't that funny. But he is getting it. He understands the need to go, just can't always make it to the proper spot to do it.

Hey, that's happened to the best of drunk college students. Just.. can't.. quite.. make it to the toliet.

So, if you are easily grossed out, pass out at the sight of words referencing defecation, you might pass on my blog this week. Otherwise, all help and advice, book recommendations, and sedative prescriptions are welcomed! Let 'em rip!

C'mon.. give us your best potty training story ever. Dare ya!

And go see Keely for better random number generation. She's better at it.

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RTT: Remembering, Tragedy, and Toddlers

I'm late, but at least I'm here. I miss Keely and her Random gang over at Un-Mom, so I'm joining in today. Go see her here.

Please send your prayers out to those who were killed, injured, or lost a loved one in yesterday's Metro rail crash in Washington, DC. The Washington Post's headlines indicate the crash was "not supposed to happen" and is the "worst in Metro's 33-year history". There are many tales of heroics and good Samaritans helping their fellow man, but sadly, there are also devastating tales of those who were not able to go home yesterday. Loved ones who waited, unable to find out information. Waiting for those who boarded the train as he/she always did, day after day.

It is often in times of tragic random circumstance that one identifies with the victim's families, thinking, "what if my husband was riding that particular Metro that day?" You feel a little more lucky, perhaps, that you can live on to continue another day.

It's difficult to imagine what those family members are actually going through, but my heart, my thoughts, my mind and prayers are with them.

It's difficult also, to try to randomly include a light-hearted story in light of yesterday's very sad news. However, I will share just one:

My toddler and I were playing in his room yesterday morning. He left suddenly, I heard him toddle out to the kitchen, and I turned to put some things away. When he returned, he was beaming and said what sounded like:
"Go kitchen! Fill wawa up to tup? Wawa into tup? Kitchen!"

He pulled me, by the hand, into the kitchen and there, in the middle of the kitchen floor, was a sippy cup, no top, filled to the brim with cold water.

He'd opened the fridge and filled it with the Pur water filter.

Lil' water-maniac, that one.

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RTT: Random Turn of evenTs

Have you ever been heading down a road, on a trip, and, maybe you've never been there before or you've spaced out for ten minutes and missed your exit and.. eventually you realize you've come a realllly long way out of your way? Like, it pains you to think about turning around and heading back to the one spot you know, simply because it's so freakin' far behind you?!

Yeah. Well, we did our inspection for this other (bigger, much bigger) house that we were previously under contract with and.. not happenin'. We voided the contract, getting out via the inspection contingency. (Thank goodness for contingencies.)

You know, because it's so easy to make these large, life-changing events while one is pregnant. We've already gone over my confused state of being as late.

But, this is Random Tuesday so we can't dwell on things. I just finished addressing the invites for my son's 2nd birthday party. The big 2.0. Unreal.

I've never been a fan of reality TV. Until "The Bachelorette". And "The Apprentice." And "The Office". (Just kidding.) No, really. I have a serious Bachelorette addiction. Who can blame me? I love seeing a bunch of manly men acting like girly-girls. Good times.

Not that the GM news surprised anyone today, but I just wonder.. is anyone out there seriously considering buying a GM car right now? I'm wondering how that psychological impact will impact the employees, the shareholders, the Board, the suppliers, and the very big multiplier effect of the American auto industry. A Saab is still a Saab, right? A Cadillac.. a Caddy? Right?

I really love corn on the cob. What I love even more is watching my toddler hold an ear in each of his hands, eye the ear carefully from end to end, pick the perfect spot to start, and then CHOMP with as much gusto as little two-year old jaws will allow. Ah, childhood.

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RTT: Rushed, and Terribly Tardy

I meant to post my RTT post last night, but my Bachelorette addiction got in the way of that. So I'm late but I'm here. Let's party.

I think God is mad at me, or if not at me, then someone who lives in the Washington, DC Metro area, because it is raining YET AGAIN. It doesn't seem meteorologically possible that we could get more rain in 2009. But here we are. Flash flooding an' all.

A few updates. The nasty horrible nauseous feeling that everyone has had from a few too many the night before? Yeah, that's me all the time right now, only I'm not allowed to just crack a beer in the morning to chase the Spring Break-esque hangover away. This pregnancy couldn't be more different, which is ironic.. because upon finding out, I was immediately pure bravado about it, "eh, this is old hat. I've done this before. NO big deal." News flash: they aren't all the same.

A few updates, in random order:
- still congested, can't hear out of either ear, and still refusing to take anything for it.
- we got the house. Not "new" by any stretch. New to us. Our offer was accepted last week, and we're set up for closing and everything.
- that means we'll be putting our own house on the market after the first one closes. That means you can commit me now.
- simple math will tell you that, yes, we have a lot of stuff to do around here. And the new (old) house that we don't own yet, but soon will. It's enough to make me throw up. Wait, I've already done that today.

I've been really beating myself up lately about my lack of blogging forte. I miss the community; the camaraderie, and mostly I miss laughing at the foibles that are oft discussed, celebrated, and taken back .

But I wanted you all to know, I am here. I am surviving, some days just barely. I am reading, when I can. And I am making attempts to reconcile this game called "life" with this game called "blogging."

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RTT: Ruminations Titillating and Tumultuous

I've decided to go pamper myself today. It was our last day of "mom's morning out" preschool today for the summer, so I took FULL advantage of the 2.5 hours of free time. Mostly turned the radio up full blast, rolled down every window, and sang at the top of my lungs, among a top notch pedicure other things.

Just DON'T tell my husband about the pampering. His Midwestern values don't jive well there.

("CDB, he reads your blog, stupid.")

That's right, well.. let's change the subject. And don't call me stupid. 'Baby', fine, not 'stupid'.

How is swine flu back in the news?! Have we all learned more about the spread of infectious diseases than we all wanted to know? Don't the WHO participants want to get out and be tourists while in Geneva? It's really a beautiful city, gorgeous waterfront, great restaurants..

My black lab is posted outside the kitchen cabinet where we keep the trash. Motionless. Just staring at the closed doors. He thinks he hears a mouse (he did once, about a year and a half ago. We.. ahem. Caught it.)

Oh, all my Facebook friends that live in maintenance-free condos and townhouses just got grossed out by that last admission. JUST WAIT.

I think this recovery will take some time, in terms of general economic activity, because I think it will be a while before it's "cool" to spend money again. Sure, ladies will still shop, but we're also clipping coupons now with abandon, and those habits will stick around for a while. My theory is housing will turn around much faster, as those of us living in teeny tiny dwellings JUST can't take it anymore and begin to churn the market with housing sales and purchases. (Note: our region is already turning around, but it was predicted to be one of the first. BOO YAH.)

Grab the button, do some random churning of your own, and tell Keely she looks AMAZING without those last three pounds. (Just kidding. Don't say that.)

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Tuesday Thoughts of Randomness

I'm late! I'm late! For a very important post! Let the games begin!

You all know by now to strap in and hold on, because my brain on RTT is like an acid trip roller coaster; but not a new, cool roller coaster. One of those crotchety old wooden ones that you think you'll get stuck on forever. But trust me, we won't be going upside down.

I've been eating myself out of house and home this week. And last week. And 10 weeks prior to that. I can't eat enough. I just polished off an egg/cheese/bacon on a bagel that someone else prepared for me. It was delicious and my first thought upon last bite was, "I should could eat another one of those." (Addendum: someone next to me just had pancakes and sausage put in front of him, and I'm about to reach over and take a taste. Dare me?)

For those that know me in real life, it's fun knowing why I keep referencing these random things, isn't it?

I really hate white potatoes. But sweet potatoes are totally my thing. And my son's. He can eat the heck outta some sweet pots. Our white potatoes consistently go bad.

I taught my son a new concept, and I was super proud of him for getting it. At first, he took the empty bottle of Aveeno soap and stuck it, open top side down, straight into the water. It did not fill up. I then showed him how to hold it under the water but at an angle, so it filled up with water. It took him one try, and he filled it up. Then he dumped it on me.

It's funny to me that media has started calling it the N1-H1 flu virus, seemingly due to the fact that every one of us can't stand the word "swine".

One of my favorite past times is to people judge watch. I love to make up little narratives about their story. Why she is yelling at the person on the phone. Or why he is yelling loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear him chewing out the line cook. Or why the manager always has a smile on his face, no matter how tough things seem to be. Or what the young blonde chick's texts are all about, or why she has her text-message sound setting on her phone set to DEAFENING. These three mystery guys with the pancakes, reading the newspapers. Are they just carpooling, and don't really know each other that well? Are they in a fight? A bitter family estate battle? (Oh. I looked. They're just watching CNN.)

I really need to go on a trip somewhere, soon. I don't care where (and the upcoming wedding my husband is in does not count.) (Be honest, here, CDB.) Okay, the wedding does count I guess. But I want another one.

Speaking of trips, head on over to the Un-Mom, and enjoy her brand of random!

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RTT: Random Tuesday Trips

I had a dream last night about a poisonous bird that got into our house and was going around, trying to "peck" everyone...my Mom was there, simultaneously consoling and warning everyone, which is so true-to-life. What does this mean? Is there some "poison" in my life, running after my sub-conscious? Is someone in my life trying to "peck" me to death? Do I have a deep-seated fear of beautiful birds?

Or, it could just be that "fancy" parrot picture in our Spanish "Mis Opuestos" board book? Hm.

I'm ashamed how late my RTT is this week. I blame it on the high pollen count. My punishment is keeping it short. (Should I repent too? Sheesh, you can tell I grew up Catholic.)

I truly love blogging. But I read a comment recently about the possibility of us all needing to do it during the cold, dreary winter months. Now that Spring and 90 degrees are here, are we all finding a few more projects that have been sitting around? Opening doors to new found sunshine, revealing old forgotten dust? (P.S. That was an analogy.)

Warm weather makes me crave fresh fruit and veggies. I'm still fascinated by vegetable packaging, but don't have any psychosis-inducing questions on it this week. However, I'm convinced the bottom of our fruit bowl is a wormhole that leads to a parallel dimension, so we've never reached the bottom of it.

This post is trippy!

Head on over to Keely's place, grab the button, and let her know how fabulous she looks today! and tell her I said so. (:

Yes, this counts as "short" in my blok. Everything is relative. We've talked about this.

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RTT: I Missed You, O Blogging World!

What is up with celery half-bags? Have you seen these? Where the bags only cover the ankles and upper calves of the celery stalks? Who decided that celery was relegated to the life of the half-dressed, like a generic Playboy model, or .. hairy topless male sunbathers in St. Maarten?

(Welcome Back, CDB! Gosh, we missed your pointless drivel about vegetable packaging!)

I didn't take any photos of the Dave Matthews concert on Saturday; NOT because there were huge signs that said "NO CAMERAS". Because I forgot it. But, suffice it to say, it was awesome. For you Dave fans, "Two Step" was off the hook. But we only got two songs for the encore, and after breaking in backstage, storming down Dave and demanding a personal serenade of "Crash", I woke up.

A note on our getaway: my husband and I got to sleep in, then go downstairs and eat a full breakfast that someone else had prepared for us. Then THEY cleaned it up. Heaven? No, just life PreK. (Pre-Kid.)

I hadn't gotten on a single blog until this evening, so I'll be catching up for a while. But I will be there, commenting and reading. Oh wait. Not in that order.

Today was a very special day. Today, the blogging world COLLIDED with the real, when, out of the pouring rain, my toddler and I walked up the front steps to find TWO packages awaiting my excitable hands.. both from the blogging world. That's right! I received TWO packages from two of my fellow bloggers, one prize, and one thank-you gift. More, including pictures, later.

What is all this talk about nationalizing banks?! We are so far away from that and yet we keep hearing about it. The government buying non-voting shares of a bunch of stock is NOT nationalization. When we get closer, I can understand pundits on both sides freaking out, but we are not there.

Moose Trax ice cream is the best. Little nuggets of choco-peanut butter heaven waiting to surprise you at every turn of your spoon. Mmm.

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RTT: Inextricable Velcro Kix

Soggy, milk-laden Kix become the strongest balls o' Velcro in the world. You could use these to hold a cement block on the ceiling.

Why are toddlers so fascinated with bee-bo's? Oh, that's belly buttons, for those of you beyond the "Belly Button Book" phase of life.

Flat Pellegrino tastes like.. well, regular water from Italy. Ok. Fine. Just regular water.

No matter how much of a SuperMom you think yourself to be, don't ever, EVER, walk into the grocery store at 5:00 PM with a toddler and proceed to set grocery-store shopping records by purchasing one thing on every aisle and a dozen in the produce section. Inexplicably.

Especially, if, when you get home to unload the 143 bags of groceries you just cursed yourself for buying (inexplicably), it starts to rain. This does not score you bonus points.

Enough toddler talk. Have we really gotten so far away from the actual origins and modern-day manifestations of piracy - real pirates, that when I walk up my neighbor's stairs to deliver our neighborhood newsletter, I read a sign posted on the door with a skull/crossbones that "PIRATES ONLY... ARRRG" are allowed?

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Lighter note! A lighter, lemon-ey note! Thanks, Kelly, from My Voice, My View! I really appreciate it! Further award information will follow.

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Don't we all so much look forward to Tuesdays now that Keely turned us on to being random? Go over, grab the button, and by all means, turn on your own random-word generator.

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Tuesday's Random Thoughts: #99

This is my 99th Post!! Brought to you by Keely at the Superheroine blog, the Un-Mom. And brought to you by the letter 'R'. And the smiling cherub at the end.

I have completely lost my voice. This isn't a random thought, it's a random fact. I sound like a barking seal when I talk. The machine-like robotic grocery-checkout-gal did a double take. On the phone, my mom didn't know who I was. The worst part: it is physically impossible to sound threatening when every other word is a whisper. The dogs and toddler have completely lost respect of my authority. I saw my yellow Lab roll her eyes at me today. (But she is really insolent sometimes.)

Don't buses have the most unusually unique braking sound? They do. When you hear it coming, careening around the corner, you just know it's a big yella' school bus.

Is it just me, or does it seem like most technological innovation has stalled in the U.S. for a time? Let's not count the iPhone, or Wii. Those are fun toys. We're still behind in cell phone banking, unlike Western European countries, and nearly all of Asia. Social networking/media seems to be the most significant innovation stateside in some time.
My husband insists that I include his addendum to that last point: do we really need to BANK on our cell phones? Can that transfer really NOT WAIT, that we have to do it on our PHONES?

Speaking of lightening fast banking needs, hip, hip, HOORAY for the market rally today! And hooray for me selling my winner (BAC two weeks ago: $3.65; BAC sold today: $7.40.) I do NOT recommend putting any capital at risk that you can not risk losing. At least short term.

Grocery store chains seem to be doing more lately to win my business. I have my pick of at least 10 major stores within a 2-3 mile radius, and each time they have new and innovative ways of winning my loyalty. I got five bucks off my bill today, for some Safeway game they were playing!

He did this himself. Then let me know how pleased he was with his innovation.

I think we're going to have to suck it up and buy a minivan. END OF POST. END OF YOUR LIFE. THANKS FOR PLAYIN'.

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Random Tuesday Thoughts

: I'm guest posting over at What It's Like to Be Mie today, so go check her me us out! Happy St. Patty's! It's her Terrible Two-Versary. Wish her luck.. Terrible Two's are YIKES. (And my son is 22 months old.)

: Everyone knows about those "My Child is an HONOR Student at Superstupendousamazing Elementary School." I've been wondering lately, what is the checks-and-balances system behind this bumper-sticker distribution? If a class slips through where she/he just couldn't quite cut it and got a 'B', God forbid, do they come through the parking lot and remove said stickers off the offending vans? Do the parents protest the removal, or hide shamefully in the bushes? Are there fights? Teacher on parents? Principal on parent? B.F. Skinner on Homer?

: I really love Random Tuesday Thoughts. It allows my brain to act naturally. For example. Ben Bernanke is kind of cute, in an erudite sort of way. I'm going to pretend he doesn't resemble my Father-in-Law.

: After teaching my kid yoga class Sat., I was starving. My husband I agreed to meet out for lunch near the house, he'd bring the toddler. (Lest he fend for himself at home.) Chipotle near Home Depot. Ok. So, I'm sitting at the Chipotle near Home Depot, waiting, by myself. Ordered, sitting, still waiting. Problem is, he's at THE OTHER Chipotle near THE OTHER Home Depot, across town, waiting. At a TOTALLY different restaurant near a totally different Home Depot.
This is how the phone call went:
"Are you at Chipotle?"
"Yes! Are you here?"
"The one near Home Depot?"
"Yes!"
"Which Home Depot?"
"The one near our house!"
(Sigh)

: Chocolate chip cookie dough, frozen, is quite possibly the most addicting food that exists.

: My yellow Lab's butt is starting to stink. Because of the blogosphere, I think I need to have her anal glands checked. She will be absolutely furious with me for telling you all this.

: I asked my husband for a completely random thought, as he was extending his hand to me, in a loving pitch to get me to come to bed. His response: "Yesterday was Monday."
(I'm typing this today. As far as I know, today is Monday. He's way ahead of himself.)

: Happy Random Tuesday! Go check out more Randomized Randomness at Keely's place.

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Tuesday's Random Thoughts

It's so totally random that Keely chose Tuesdays to share random weekly thoughts. It's all part of her master plan. Go check out the other RTT posts.

Why are oyster crackers called oyster crackers? Do they contain evaporated oyster juice? Do you have to have them with oysters? Was the inventor just looking for a catchy cracker-phrase, and happened to be eating oysters at the time?

Every time I gain a new Follower, I feel as if I have a new best friend lease on life. The highest of the highs. Everything is coming together, exactly as it should. I am where I am meant to be. The sky is blue, the sun is shining. And then I go back and read my last post and think, "what are they thinking?"

When I see that a fellow blogger is holding a giveaway, and that they chose their winner based on a Random Number Generator, I always, without fail, think to myself, "Why didn't they just ask me? I can pull random out of my ____!"

You can't always get what you want. But if he could, I'm pretty sure my husband would quit his job, forward his phone, toss his laptop, hole himself up in front of a large HDTV and watch the entire college basketball post-regular season including every conference tournament and NCAA tournament coverage non-stop without eating. This scares me.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. When will we get out Of this economic gloom?

Apparently, I have a deep-seated sense of entitlement about Girl Scout Cookies (don't worry, it doesn't go further than that.) At Trader Joe's this weekend, the little cherubs were camped outside, calling directly to me as I left the store. I bought a make-up box of Thin Mints, (and makeup Tagalongs) which I proceeded to plow through even before arriving back home. Note: when I said you can't always get what you want, I did not mean me. As I type this, I'm finishing my husband's Tagalong.

Wait, not ready to dump that subject yet. Last time I mentioned my pummeling of a box of Thin Mints in three days, I got "amateur." "Shows restraint." "Talk to me if it's three hours." What I failed to mention, joyful commenters, is that after said Thin Mints, I finished an entire bag of Mint Milanos, package of frozen cookie dough (had help there), and nearly the balance of playgroup brownies that my husband didn't off.

One of my Asian Yogis gave me a present after class today! As I took the shiny gift bag from the adorably sweet 76-year old, I had the thought that it could be a bag of rancid bananas, and I would still be so touched and thrilled. (It wasn't. Apparently even my Asian Yogis know about my growing addiction. See below.)

Doesn't this just describe your addictions perfectly? It does mine!

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