Tuesday's Random Thoughts: #99

This is my 99th Post!! Brought to you by Keely at the Superheroine blog, the Un-Mom. And brought to you by the letter 'R'. And the smiling cherub at the end.

I have completely lost my voice. This isn't a random thought, it's a random fact. I sound like a barking seal when I talk. The machine-like robotic grocery-checkout-gal did a double take. On the phone, my mom didn't know who I was. The worst part: it is physically impossible to sound threatening when every other word is a whisper. The dogs and toddler have completely lost respect of my authority. I saw my yellow Lab roll her eyes at me today. (But she is really insolent sometimes.)

Don't buses have the most unusually unique braking sound? They do. When you hear it coming, careening around the corner, you just know it's a big yella' school bus.

Is it just me, or does it seem like most technological innovation has stalled in the U.S. for a time? Let's not count the iPhone, or Wii. Those are fun toys. We're still behind in cell phone banking, unlike Western European countries, and nearly all of Asia. Social networking/media seems to be the most significant innovation stateside in some time.
My husband insists that I include his addendum to that last point: do we really need to BANK on our cell phones? Can that transfer really NOT WAIT, that we have to do it on our PHONES?

Speaking of lightening fast banking needs, hip, hip, HOORAY for the market rally today! And hooray for me selling my winner (BAC two weeks ago: $3.65; BAC sold today: $7.40.) I do NOT recommend putting any capital at risk that you can not risk losing. At least short term.

Grocery store chains seem to be doing more lately to win my business. I have my pick of at least 10 major stores within a 2-3 mile radius, and each time they have new and innovative ways of winning my loyalty. I got five bucks off my bill today, for some Safeway game they were playing!

He did this himself. Then let me know how pleased he was with his innovation.

I think we're going to have to suck it up and buy a minivan. END OF POST. END OF YOUR LIFE. THANKS FOR PLAYIN'.

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Spin on My Quirks

Quirks, not Quarks. We'll leave physics and math for another post.

You may not have noticed my being MIA from your comment fields (or maybe you have!) But I got sick. Then, taught my kid yoga class anyway, took a 2-hour nap, got a little better, went to a friends' going-away party/stayed out too late, fell a few rungs on the wellness ladder, napped, got better, went to brunch, fell some rungs, you get the pattern. Oh! Then my laptop decided to crash.

But I'm back to Spin on my own quirks, because I have so many. Not all of them are funny, so I'm warning you now. Check out the other quirky Spins while you're at it!

:: I once bought new underwear in college, because I ran out of clean and wasn't doing laundry often enough. I was traveling on the weekends for the college drinking ski team, and our apartment didn't have a washer/dryer. Worse, I went to a CVS/Pharmacy to buy them.. discovering that CVS does not, in fact, sell undies. Don't ever tell undergraduate friends this, if you try it. (I still hear about this.)

:: I must remove my shoes and put on my slippers immediately upon entering my house. Not everyone else's house, just mine. We bought a 1949 Cape Cod house with no basement, which means it's close to the cold ground, which means it's a little like walking on a giant, flat iceberg. Not one of the melting ones, though.

:: I stand on one leg when getting ready for bed. I don't always know that I do this. Often, my husband will come in, laugh, and make a comment about my being a flamingo, before I realize I'm doing it.

:: I can only whistle by sucking air in. The toddler loves it. No, I will not be posting a video of this. Also, just one tone.

:: When cleaning up play-doh, I separate the colors out and try to find the corresponding top. For those of you that have been away from toddlers for a while, this is IMPOSSIBLE.

:: I prefer to have the radio news on (NPR) when I'm cooking dinner/feeding my son. I have to. Often I talk back to what it's telling me. Part of the conversation.

:: If my son gets a puzzle out, then his toddler A.D.D. kicks in before he does said puzzle, I must stop everything and put the pieces back in. I cannot walk away. Let alone put it back on the shelf incomplete. What if we lost a piece?!

:: When eating pancakes, waffles or french toast, I spread the butter and add the syrup, then cut the entire entity into 1,000 tiny bites before taking a one. This is the only example of cuisine for which I fail to cut five pieces of an item, pause, pass fork from left/cutting to right/eating (authentic American style) and polish off before cutting the next five. Pancakes bring out the worst in my table manners, it would seem.

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Writer's Workshop: Keep it Clean!

This is a perfect day; this has been on my mind to write, and it fits perfectly into Mama Kat's third prompt for Writer's Workshop this week;

3.) Describe a time you allowed your child to do something that you normally would not let slide.

I work in my son's co-op preschool classroom once a month or so, and Tuesday was my last day as "lead", which means two things, 1) I cherished this last little nugget of time being his "teacher" and observing how he interacts with the other toddlers, and 2) I'm FREE, FREE, FREE and FREE for the rest of this session. Next Fall, he'll go to a 'traditional' 2's program, no co-oping.

We Moms do the curriculum, and the suggested craft activity for this, my teaching Tuesday, was fingerpainting! "Oh, crap," I thought as I read the suggestion to get out the smocks, the finger paints, and have each very busy, very unsteady set of toddler fingers paint a Rainbow.

"Go for it," said the unaffected, will-be-far-away-at-work husband, with a grin.

Always the under overachiever, I announced to the permanent teacher my intention for the craft that day. She gave me a long look. Then, as if resigning herself to not roll her eyes, got out the table cover, smocks, large sheets of paper. We started with 2-3 kids at a time, quickly whittling it down to 2, while the other Mom watched the balance of the kids.

The result amazed me. Each kid was tentative, at best, to the idea of smushing his/her hands into some kind of paint, and getting messy! Before my disbelieving eyes, each child reluctantly dipped one finger, or two, into the gloppy paint, then delicately put the finger to paper and wiped it around a bit, as if to rid the clean finger of said gloppiness. We encouraged, we incented, we even demonstrated. My own mess-loving toddler took a moment to verify I was "okay" with his fingers (and subsequently, clothes) getting completely bamboozled with bright red, yellow, blue and green.

Once they understood that this kind of atrocious messying-up of their fingers was allowed, they got into it. Really into it. The youngest one, at only 14 months, wouldn't STOP once he got going, and kept sneaking back over to our half of the classroom to begin getting brightly colored again. With joy, I saw my own toddler's independent use of the "handprint" style.

But...One child in particular wouldn't do it. He was the oldest, at 2.5 years, and said, "No, Thank you," when told it was his turn to make a picture. We sat him down and convinced him that Mommy might truly enjoy a picture, or at least a little handprint. He dipped one finger, no more, and slide it across the paper to get it off. When he was done 4.5 seconds later, he popped up, hands straight out in front of himself so as to not touch anything, to get his hands washed. His face, clothes and psyche stayed relatively unmarked. Well, I can't vouch for his psyche.

The thing is, kids are supposed to get messy. And we, as parents, are supposed to clean them up. But I saw first hand how much they have been trained, encouraged, educated, prompted and threatened, to stay clean at all costs! We wash their hands to prevent germs. We wash hands after coming in from outside. Touching someone else's toys. Sneezing. Petting the dogs. Farm animals. Our own butts.

I'm the worst offending OCD-Mom there is. I wash my hands just after I've washed them. The point is.. how much are we stifling our kids' creativity? By just... keeping them clean, at all costs?

Now. If you'll excuse me. I need to finish scrubbing the dirt out from under the dog's paws.

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Riddle Me This Pt. 2

Jenners is at it again, Fun and Games with Jenners, except THIS time, she got the idea from this very blog. Since we here at Fingers & Paws are so easily swayed by flattery (try me,) I must immediately participate in said game. Go check her very cool riddles out, make your own, and link up!

The game is a riddle. I post pictures, forming a riddle. You guess in comments. I'm going to make this one a lot tougher than LAST time though, because everyone got it right away.

Photo credit

I don't think this is any more tough than last time. I'll keep working on it. I'll stump you guys one of these days.

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Random Tuesday Thoughts

: I'm guest posting over at What It's Like to Be Mie today, so go check her me us out! Happy St. Patty's! It's her Terrible Two-Versary. Wish her luck.. Terrible Two's are YIKES. (And my son is 22 months old.)

: Everyone knows about those "My Child is an HONOR Student at Superstupendousamazing Elementary School." I've been wondering lately, what is the checks-and-balances system behind this bumper-sticker distribution? If a class slips through where she/he just couldn't quite cut it and got a 'B', God forbid, do they come through the parking lot and remove said stickers off the offending vans? Do the parents protest the removal, or hide shamefully in the bushes? Are there fights? Teacher on parents? Principal on parent? B.F. Skinner on Homer?

: I really love Random Tuesday Thoughts. It allows my brain to act naturally. For example. Ben Bernanke is kind of cute, in an erudite sort of way. I'm going to pretend he doesn't resemble my Father-in-Law.

: After teaching my kid yoga class Sat., I was starving. My husband I agreed to meet out for lunch near the house, he'd bring the toddler. (Lest he fend for himself at home.) Chipotle near Home Depot. Ok. So, I'm sitting at the Chipotle near Home Depot, waiting, by myself. Ordered, sitting, still waiting. Problem is, he's at THE OTHER Chipotle near THE OTHER Home Depot, across town, waiting. At a TOTALLY different restaurant near a totally different Home Depot.
This is how the phone call went:
"Are you at Chipotle?"
"Yes! Are you here?"
"The one near Home Depot?"
"Yes!"
"Which Home Depot?"
"The one near our house!"
(Sigh)

: Chocolate chip cookie dough, frozen, is quite possibly the most addicting food that exists.

: My yellow Lab's butt is starting to stink. Because of the blogosphere, I think I need to have her anal glands checked. She will be absolutely furious with me for telling you all this.

: I asked my husband for a completely random thought, as he was extending his hand to me, in a loving pitch to get me to come to bed. His response: "Yesterday was Monday."
(I'm typing this today. As far as I know, today is Monday. He's way ahead of himself.)

: Happy Random Tuesday! Go check out more Randomized Randomness at Keely's place.

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Friday Favorites

I hopped aboard the VentHardNow Train yesterday, and now it's time to hop off and head for that greener pasture. It's time for optimistic, numbered joy-sharing. Friday Favorites, sponsored by Janna Bee (in her words, "Friday Favorites are the things that got us through the week, big and small.") Lezzgo.

1. Absolutely, positively, without a doubt, policeman and firemen and civil servants have the roughest, most thankless jobs for which we should be MOST thankful. And I really am**.

2. So, this is a makeup post, then? (No!) You felt a little bad, though, right? (Yep.)

3. My husband.

4. Gifted French Truffles from my adorable Aging Asian Yogi.

(Yes. They are open now.)

5. All the new Followers* of Fingers&Paws. Strap yourselves in!

6. Black Mountain Pinot Noir.
:
7. The nursery at the gym. See #4. And every previous post referencing Thin Mints.
:
8. Ad-hoc post-meeting Happy Hour with the girls, where I picked up the phrase, "That REALLY flipped my pancake". Also, much sex talk. Also, $2 drafts.
:
9. Being a guest poster at What It's Like to Be Mie on Tuesday.
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10. Coming up with a brilliant, enlightening post for my 100th post.. which is coming up next week. (Finally. The Kevin Costner post.)

:

IF I come up with something brilliant for OMW's Friday Fiction, I'll post it for the weekend. Let's ask the Magic Eight Ball...

"Looks doubtful."


* Capitalizing F makes you sound like Disciples, and I PROMISE that is the furthest thing from this raised-good-Catholic-and-still-tries-hard-to-make-Mass-though-lack-of-a-nursey-and-screaming-toddler-just-does not-work Mom.
** I have a lot of people in my life that have dedicated their careers and lives to serving the needs of others in the form of federal government, law enforcement, intelligence, and .. my Mom. They can never know how much I appreciate and admire them.

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Writer's Workshop: Crime and Punishment

Mama Kat's Writing Workship (workship? What is that? Are we all out to sea? A ship you work on? Like a navy ship?) Workshop chosen prompt:
4.) What inspired you? Write about a time when you were impassioned to write.
(writingfix.com)

Dear Mr. F'x County Police Officer Who Gave Me a Parking Ticket In Front of My Own House Last Week:

I understand there is a budget shortfall the likes of which you've never experienced in the County. I understand better than anyone Sir, because I bought a HOUSE in this County. That makes me a TAXPAYER. That means I pay YOUR salary. And just because harsh reality bites, and there is no more money in the police budget for doughnuts, it does NOT mean you get to go around ticketing random cars. In the rain. At 7:30PM at night. All sneaky, when we didn't see you do it and the useless dogs didn't alert us to the moonlight sanity RAID.

It was bad enough peeling the wet ticket(s) off our TWO cars that were sporting TWO tickets... God forbid we see any curtains peeled back for idle snickering from neighbors.

We had a lot of SNOW last week, and our road was covered in the white fluffy stuff ALL DAY because the COUNTY did not come to plow it. This has been the case the past two winters, and up until now, has been acceptable. Because I did not have to PAY to park in front of my own HOUSE. This is no longer acceptable.

Honestly, if I saw you do it, I think we would have had a raucous laugh:
"Oh, what in the world do you think you're doing? I live here, Sir!"
"Oh, ma'am, do you live here? What a nice place. Listen, I need ya to swing her around for me."
"Swing her around?"
"You're parked facing the wrong way."
(Here, I would pause, with a half smile creeping over my face.)
"Oh, you're KIDDING! You don't ACTUALLY spend POLICE time keeping track of which way people are parked in their NEIGHBORHOODS, when bad guys are out there STEALING CARS and FIRING UNLICENSED WEAPONS! Right?"
"Ha, ha. Yes, ha, ha. Got me. I was only joshing. But it woulda sucked if I'd given ya a ticket! Yeppers!"

That could have, would have, and should have, been a funny story for my blog. INSTEAD, I am forced to write this nagging letter explaining to you why you are wasting valuable tax dollars using up gas to patrol around looking for CRIMINAL PARKING ACTIVITY.

Because this crime was so ludicrous in nature, and because other crimes I have committed that went unpunished were SO MUCH WORSE, I have decided to write my Congressman and tell him that we need you to direct traffic at the preschool for the next nine years.

Sincerely,

Mad, Mad Ma'am

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Spin on Surviving Madmen in March

A recent, actual conversation involving college basketball, about which my husband feels more passionately than the three S's virtually anything:

Me: "So you must be pretty psyched about the Tournament this year, huh?"
Husband: "YES."
Me: "And if we win all our games, leading up to the Final Four?"
Husband: [quivering] "YES! Very excited."
Me: "And our TV will be only allowed on...."
Husband: "College basketball, baBY!"
Me: "And what if we are IN the Final Four? Where is it this year... in Texas, right?"
Husband: [pause] "Yeah. Right. In Texas North."
Me: "Texas Nor..."
Husband: "Otherwise known as Detroit."
:

So, where's the survival part?--I'm being totally serious here, I finished the last sleeve of Thin Mints while my husband was working late. Then I emailed him to let him know.

Payback is hell.

For newer, shinier Survival stories from the street, visit Jen at Sprite's Keeper!

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Tuesday's Random Thoughts

It's so totally random that Keely chose Tuesdays to share random weekly thoughts. It's all part of her master plan. Go check out the other RTT posts.

Why are oyster crackers called oyster crackers? Do they contain evaporated oyster juice? Do you have to have them with oysters? Was the inventor just looking for a catchy cracker-phrase, and happened to be eating oysters at the time?

Every time I gain a new Follower, I feel as if I have a new best friend lease on life. The highest of the highs. Everything is coming together, exactly as it should. I am where I am meant to be. The sky is blue, the sun is shining. And then I go back and read my last post and think, "what are they thinking?"

When I see that a fellow blogger is holding a giveaway, and that they chose their winner based on a Random Number Generator, I always, without fail, think to myself, "Why didn't they just ask me? I can pull random out of my ____!"

You can't always get what you want. But if he could, I'm pretty sure my husband would quit his job, forward his phone, toss his laptop, hole himself up in front of a large HDTV and watch the entire college basketball post-regular season including every conference tournament and NCAA tournament coverage non-stop without eating. This scares me.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. When will we get out Of this economic gloom?

Apparently, I have a deep-seated sense of entitlement about Girl Scout Cookies (don't worry, it doesn't go further than that.) At Trader Joe's this weekend, the little cherubs were camped outside, calling directly to me as I left the store. I bought a make-up box of Thin Mints, (and makeup Tagalongs) which I proceeded to plow through even before arriving back home. Note: when I said you can't always get what you want, I did not mean me. As I type this, I'm finishing my husband's Tagalong.

Wait, not ready to dump that subject yet. Last time I mentioned my pummeling of a box of Thin Mints in three days, I got "amateur." "Shows restraint." "Talk to me if it's three hours." What I failed to mention, joyful commenters, is that after said Thin Mints, I finished an entire bag of Mint Milanos, package of frozen cookie dough (had help there), and nearly the balance of playgroup brownies that my husband didn't off.

One of my Asian Yogis gave me a present after class today! As I took the shiny gift bag from the adorably sweet 76-year old, I had the thought that it could be a bag of rancid bananas, and I would still be so touched and thrilled. (It wasn't. Apparently even my Asian Yogis know about my growing addiction. See below.)

Doesn't this just describe your addictions perfectly? It does mine!

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Writer's Workshop: All of That and More

Start: 10:18 PM
My evening was pulled out from underneath me through no fault of my own because I procrastinate. Something about a college basketball game, tomorrow's playgroup brownies being attacked by my husband (guess he's bitter about the Thin Mints), and a Lifetime movie based on a book I just finished (Memory Keeper's Daughter. SKIP IT. READ THE BOOK.) That's right. Lifetime. We ALL watch it. Only I admit it.

Check out Mama Kat's Writing Workshop, rocking it on Wed. night! The prompts:

1.) Write a limerick; 2.) Normal is...
There was an attention-starved Lady from Normal
Dressing up and then down for the formal
Pretty lace that she wore
Fluttered fast to the floor
With the help of the gent who had scorned her.

3.) Describe a memorable camping experience.
Set up the tent two feet from the banks of a gushing river in CO, thinking that would be a nice sleep aid. It kept me up ALL NIGHT because I kept having to pee.

4.) What's the best thing that has happened this week?
I went with my 21-mo old toddler to a friend's house to play this morning. It's been a rough week, he's getting over his fifth ear infection and was a total peanut-sized a**-- train wreck every day. One or two of the days I'm pretty sure he was trying to kill me. This wore on my nerves and started to grind me down, causing me to revert to my childhood where things were solved by yelling, making menacing faces and exasperated, drawn out sighs.

This friend was a quiet, calming influence, everything smooth, nothing is that big of a deal. Her daughter is a quiet, calm sweetheart. In one powerful moment, I saw my child growing up to be a yelling tyrant if I didn't change my actions and - more important, equal and opposite reactions. Starting today and everyday thereafter. And that's what I've done. I brought the savasana back to our daily lives. Focus on the breath.

5.) Did you have a childhood hideout? Where? Describe it.
My diary.


6.) Words that hurt me.
I'm a red-headed, fiery-tempered, mostly Irish, partly (1/12th) Cuban, youngest of three, female Scorpio... everything bothers me!

(But what doesn't kill you... makes you smarter.)

End: 10:48PM

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Random Tuesday Memes

And thoughts. Vodka Mom passively-tagged everyone to post 10 Random Things about themselves, as she did (in 8.) This fits perfectly with Keely's Tuesday Random Thoughts. I realize I posted my 25 Random Things meme just a month ago, but if I hadn't said that, you'd never have known. Plus, this one is intended to make you laugh. Let's see.



1. When I was 10, I was skiing all day with a friend near where I grew up in Upstate NY. I had to go to the bathroom very badly, but was stuck in the middle of the mountain, waiting for her. Since it really helped me to do the "pee dance" when I had to go even now as a kid, I wriggled and wriggled my butt back and forth, trying to focus my attention on my skies instead. So, I was bent over, literally wriggling my ass off , when I heard shouts from behind. I turned and was astonished to see the entire lift line above me, previously undetected, laughing their asses off.

2. Continue the theme. The thing that freaked me out the most when I was pregnant was, henceforth after the delivery, peeing a little when I laughed. I read this in one of those make-you-laugh-even-though-pregnancy-is-way-freaking-harder-than-anyone-warned-you books. An easy thing to obsess over!

3. Just after we'd adopted our two crazed, mentally-unstable, anxiety-ridden but adorable Labrador retriever mixes mutts Meritage blends, my husband, in grad school and "studying" from home, brought them to meet me for lunch. We tied them to the leg of my stool, where we were sitting outside the sidewalk cafe. When a man slammed his door shut a very scary 10 feet away, both dogs FLIPPED out and bolted, knocking me off and dragging said stool behind them. The line snapped, the stool bounced off of a nearby (newly dented) Explorer and the dogs went running around downtown Charlottesville. Traffic stopped, I ran after Echo, hubby ran after Cayuga, passersby pointed. "That way!" I nearly despaired several times, broke down to a traffic cop, followed the pointing. Broke down again, ran more, nearly got struck by several vehicles. And FOUND THEM. Scared, but safe.

4. I'm tired after all that running. Love Thai, hate Brussels sprouts.

5. I finished an entire box of Girl Scouts Thin Mints in three days while my husband wasn't home. (That's not funny, is it? That's disgusting.) 'S ok, I weigh less now than before my child was born and before my wedding in 2003.

6. This past Saturday, at the kid yoga class that I teach, we had an energizing, somewhat chaotic class and were in the middle of our imaginary "trip" to the "Magic Forest." Since it was Magic , anything was game. One kid said a frog prince. Another, a princess. A talking horse. Then, there was a quiet beat and one little girl said with a deep sigh, "a BED?"

7. I have very poor vision (-7.0) that only gets worse. I have always been self-conscious of this. At my last eye exam, I lead the witness teased my eye Doc that I was legally blind, "Right?" He said, carefully, "well.. the definition of legally blind is that you are not able to see 20/200 without correction. But you can be corrected!" Sweet.

8. Between this blog, your blog(s), comments, email, comments to email, Craiglist, freecycle, cyber stalking, trading alerts, playgroup reminders, writing, editing, re-writing, Mom's club listservs, "Hookah Times", Nigerian email scams, Facebook alerts and my Mom, I could spend all day long on the internet. And usually do.

9. For a short time, I worked at Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson. One day, Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg* made a surprise visit and the Director at the time asked me to take some photos of her around the grounds--incognito, as a tourist. This after several other employees turned down this hot, sought-after job. He handed me a disposable camera, and I started hiding, like regular paparazzi. When I spotted secret service types in the bushes spotting me, I turned the camera around and acted like I was taking my own self-portrait. To make this act more believable, I half-heartedly joined a group of tourists grouped, listening to a guide.. I never figured out if it was Japanese they were speaking.

10. Growing up, we had a wood-paneled Chrysler station wagon which, by the time I was 11, only had one door that was operational - the driver's side. Various incidents and accidents, mostly my Mom, were responsible, including the time my brother left the back left door open and she backed out of the garage, wrenching the door beyond its flex. Once crammed shut, never to open again. Thus, every time we went somewhere, we'd climb in and hop over seats. This is also the car whose engine we discovered a raccoon hiding out in. We kept him and named him "Bandit." (True story. I fed him hot dogs.)

* NOte: UNauthorized use of her name. She did really visit, and is a lovely person. But doesn't like cameras.

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Writer's Workshop: ABCs of ME

On to the Reindeer game! Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop chosen prompt:
2.) Write a 26-line poem using all the letters of the alphabet, where the first line starts with the letter "A," the second "B," the third "C," etc., culminating with the final line starting with "Z."

ABCs of ME

Anonymous

But well known

Cunning and never

Deceptively thrown

Elegant while spinning

Farce and fiction alike

Goddess of house and

Home and mike.

Injured reserve and

Jaded, no less

Killing me softly

Letting me confess

My thoughts, nay my dreams

Never brought to light

Oh, how I wish

Paupers no fright.

Queue up for the game

Realize your limit

Surprise yet again

Turn around and spin it.

Uniformity unmasked

Virtual gazes

Wishing for yet more and more

X-ray phrases.

Yelling and screaming and finding no solace

Zipping through life with too many causes.

And...

(Because I’m an overachiever with poetry)

.

A

Bear

Cub

Dangled his

Eager

Foot, just above the

Gurgling pond.

He heard

It

Jingle,

Klink, then

La-POOT

“Mama,

Not

On

Papa’s

Quingle!”

Rearing up and

Steady, our

Tired bear

Undid the bracelet of

Violets he

Wore. Then, an

X-tra wide

Yawn, he

Zzzzzzzleeps.

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Wordful Wednesday: iPod Meme

On my trip this weekend, I did Jenners' iPod meme (rules follow.) And for my real-life friends, a meme is a little game that you play, usually a list of questions to answer much like the "25 Random Things" meme on Facebook that I read 250 times. Oh no, I didn't mind. And I have no idea why "meme" is the acronym. Anybody? Anybody? Buehler?

But before we begin, may I just say that I rarely use the shuffle feature on my iPod. My playlists just rock that much. And so, there happened to be some cosmic connection with this exercise because, my list is very revealing about me. It touches every phase of my life, which is a pretty tall order.

1. Trouble - Dave Mathews (solo Some Devil album). Post-undergrad, pre-Charlottesville-stint era. This song is me in my bare feet, jumping, twirling, spinning, raising my arms above my head and leaping, breathless and modern dancing around the hardwood floors in the immensely long living room in our downtown Charlotte condo. Pre-K. (Pre kids.)

2. Pay For What You Get (live) - Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds (March, 2003). I was there, it was incredible. Late mid-20s era. "Everybody asks me how she's doing.. has she really lost her mind?" Need I say more?

3. Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam. Undergrad era. We both love Pearl Jam, and saw them live in Greensboro, NC in 2000. Great show, go if you can.

4. Border Song - Elton John. Middle school era. I love most EJ, but especially the 70s classic stuff.

5. Sadness, Part 2 - Enigma. High school era. Ah, high school melancholy. Used to get this stuck in my head during swim practice.

6. Brian Wilson - Barenaked Ladies. Somewhere from my late-20s.

7. Nothing Left to Lose - Matt Kearney. Current era. This song is parfait! for road trips. Or running. Or, just listening and reflecting.

8. Angie - The Rolling Stones. Youth era. I grew up listening to Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin in middle school (one day walking into 6th grade English I had "Over the Hills and Far Away" stuck in my head) due to 10-years my elder sister, and 7-years my brother. Saw the Stones live in Cville 3 years ago. Still kickin' it!

9. Things Can Only Get Better - Howard Jones. Youth era. I would listen to great 80s music 24/7 if I could, and wanted all 80s at my wedding (husband nixed that.) Love it, love it, love it.

10. Mozart Violin Sonata in B Flat (Andante) - Guess. Mozart. Current era. I have a lot of classical on my iPod for myriad reasons, mostly because I like Mozart. But also for the baby-now-toddler years, the importance of which is impossible to measure but probably great.

Bonus! 11. Hush Little Baby - Unknown Artist. Current era. I have a small sampling of music class music on my iPod, mostly for car trips but also for help, should I ever have the need to break out into "Open, Close Them" or "Pop Goes the Weasel".

This was fun! Thanks Jenners! Now is the part where I tag someone to play. I choose my good pal K, at Interstitial-Life, because I haven't seen her do this yet and I'm very interested!

Rules for The iPod Shuffle Meme

Using the shuffle feature on your iPod (or other MP3 player), write down the first 5 or 10 songs that play.
Justify, defend or explain why those songs are on your iPod.
Tag someone else to complete the meme.
Include these rules--and the phrase "The iPod Shuffle Meme was created by Jenners at Life with A Little One and More -- the greatest blog on the Planet Earth and perhaps the Universe" when you post your meme answers. ***

:: Important notice!!! If you have embedded comments on your blog, make sure people can post comments. Word verification is acting up, according to blogger.

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And the Winner Is...

No! This is not your update on the Academy Award Winners, but those words typed together will sure get me some google searches tomorrow. What do ya wanna bet? Also, in my humble film-major-turned-film-critic-because-it-wasn't-a-likely-career-path opinion, the Oscars are becoming like the Super Bowl.. predictable, but good ads. (Psst! See my Slumdog Millionaire review! Chris Dickens really deserved Best Film Editing. Danny Boyle really deserved Best Director. Best Score. Best Song. Etc.)

I have TWO winners of the Riddle Me This! to announce, both in the category of:

SMARTEST KID IN CLASS

First Prize - International Division: J Cosmo Newbery

Photo credit http://www.justhungry.com/images/marmite_jar.jpg

First Prize - Domestic Division: Beth

(Don't worry, I know how to find her in real life! I also happen to know she could really use one right now!!)

The correct response was indeed "The Blind Leading the Blind", and that was not the original riddle I'd intended to post. Why, yes! That means I have others up my sleeve, and I thought of a few more clever ones on my long drive with sleeping toddler. I think, therefore I riddle.

:

I'd like to thank the Academy.

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Riddle Me This

I will be gone, gone, gone this weekend, to Williamsburg, VA, for a bit of history. Did you see what domain name they have?! Apparently, they are history. A bit of historical tourism for my wee toddler, and his cousin, and the women in the family. My Mom and [bossy older] Sister and kids and I will be galavanting around the ol' village. With no internet access. And I will miss you, O' Friends of Bloggy.

But, fret not! I have an idea for keeping you hooked on F&P until my speedy return. A Riddle! Oh, come on. You loved riddles as a kid! Now, put your kid hat on, or your kids' hats on, and figure it out! Hint: it's so EASY.

Look at the pictures below. What well-known PHRASE do you come up with? Guess in comments. The first one correct wins a prize! (Really!)

Disclaimer: the prize is a modest giftcard at a reputable, socially-responsible, well-known, publicly traded coffeehouse (Ahem. SBUX.) IF you do not have said coffee house, we will arrange an acceptable alternative.

(I'm really pullin' for you here, K, you live the closest!) And my real life friends who [lurk] read my blog, you can guess too!

See you Monday!

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My Own Meme: Dreams

Click here to see the origin of the species, Tattooed Minivan Mom. Not only did she solidify how to spell "Tattooed" for me, she inspired me to use my creativity for the greater good. I'm a little late to the party. But I'm here, aren't I?

My meme is exceptionally simple, and short. Because given the chance to expound, we can all write a novella for a meme. Am I right?!

1> What do you believe you were meant to do (as a vocation, profession, to pass the time)?
I was put on this Earth to be an actress.

2> What are you currently doing now (as a vocation, profession, or passing the time?)
I'm doing a little more than passing the time as a Stay-at-Home-Mom of one toddler.

3> Do you ever forsee your "dream" vocation working out?
Well, since my "dream" vocation is to independently wealthy, likely not. But it's good to have goals.

4> What is your "consolation" vocation, if you can't have or be #1 (IF different. If there is one.)
To be a writer/photographer. A PAID, compensated writer and portrait photographer.
:
5> Do you really mean that?
Yes.

6> Is there anything precluding you from accomplishing the goal in #4?
My own stubborn predilection for procrastination. I will finish this post at some point, and when I post it, it will be buried in the archives such that nobody will see it.

I rest my case.

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Writer's Workshop: Peeved

Mama Kat's Writing Workshop prompts are a little random this week, and I had a visceral reaction to each one that I'm willing to share:

The Prompts:

1.) If you were starring on American Idol TONIGHT and HAD to sing, what song would you choose and why. Don't watch it.

2.) Take a picture of yourself right this minute without primping and explain to us why it is you have not washed your hair today. H-E-L-L-S, NO! (my hair was NOT washed.)
3.) I just asked Pat to help me with a writing prompt so here's his: "What do you think about the NBA All Star game"...blech. I was forced to watch the opening 'ceremony' thing where they all got some ring and didn't even look into the cameras when the crowds cheered. Egos.
4.) What's your number one pet peeve? Develop a punishment for anyone caught in the act. Arrow down.
5.) Write about something mean you did to a sibling growing up. How about what they did to me? And are still doing to me, 30 years later?! Separate post.

Say you're riding in someone else's car, they're driving. You approach a stoplight, and there are 10 cars lined up in the left lane, but the right lane is completely empty. Lonely. And your friend pulls right up behind that 10th car, becoming 11th, irritating you? Yep.

*Punishment: they don't ever get to drive a car again. Just bikes, mopeds and razor scooters.

You know when you're reading something, say a magazine, or newspaper, high-brow piece of literature or trashy tabloid. You clearly aren't doing anything really important, so your companion (or husband, or mother, or sister) pipes up and starts reading aloud what they are reading?

*Punishment: they will be read aloud to for one hour each morning at dawn.

How about when you type out that lengthy, perfect email response. You've thought about it. Chosen your words wisely. gotten it just.. so. And MS Outlook (or Explorer, or your whole laptop) shuts down. That little screen that pops up, wanting to know if you'd like to talk about it? "Send" or "Don't Send"?

*Punishment: Microsoft loses the world domination quest and Apple acquires it as a division.

What about when you pour yourself the perfect cup of coffee, and let it sit until it is the perfect temperature? Then something happens, life most likely, and you come back to it to find it utterly cold and tasting like motor oil? Man.

*Punishment: haven't we suffered enough?

Someone leaving the gallon of milk out on the counter. Or the butter? Or that continuous "Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound a toddler makes in the back seat when trying to vie for your attention.

*Punishment: hang upside down by the toenails.

Mostly, I hate that other people get irritated by tiny, inconsequential little things that they know deep down are trivial and don't enter into the same galaxy as "important" and thus should just be let go. Oh wait, that's me.

Wow, where did we go there, for a second? That was a pretty bad trip! Ok. I have something fun planned for tomorrow, promise, and it doesn't involve whining or complaining. Promise!

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Spin on Laughter (or, beating back Wordless Wednesday)

I have to do my weekly Spin for Sprite's Keeper early this week. Pray tell, why, you ask? Because I will be Blogging-MIA as of Friday for a trip down Historical Tourism lane to Williamsburg with my Mom and Sister. THAT will be a whole 'nother post, next week. Keep on the lookout for: "How I Restrained Myself".

Moving on! The Spin this week, funny enough, is on laughter. My husband's laugh is like his personality.. very quiet, until it is roused into raucousness. He'll quietly watch a college basketball game until an elbow is thrown at (our) player and he erupts into fist-pounding. Shouting "Oh Come ON"! And when the dust settles, you hardly know it happened.

We have this pepper grinder that looks normal enough: stainless steel. Grinds pepper. Sits there looking pretty. But, like every good-natured kitchen utensil I own, it has an issue. It has a little top that sits atop the thing that spins around, and... you guessed it! That little top is prone to pop off.

What's that? Buy another one, you say? Ah.... but you are not married to World's Cheapest Man! Variety is the spice of life, you say? Don't use pepper, you say? Ah.. that is a good point. But we still do. There I am, at the stove last night, grinding away into the homemade clam chowdah.

Can you see where this is going?

My husband is leaning against the cabinet, watching. Allll of a sudden, no warning, POP! Off comes the top. Down into the opaque-milky, formerly-delicious-looking clam chowder. As if that's not bad enough, I look up, into my husband's formerly-adoring eyes. They're kind of red. In fact, they're a little watery. He covers his mouth with a free hand. His laugh is silent, until I realize what's happening. This man, this guffawing person beside me shaking with laughter, the reason that I don't buy a new flipping pepper grinder, is unable to speak. He's laughing so hard. I'm fishing around in stew for a silver pepper grinder top, finding nothing but potatoes, he's laughing. I'm trying to get him to help me, but he can't move. He's laughing too hard to do anything useful. A tear squeezes out of the corner of his eye.

Of course I start laughing as well. It's wonderful! To laugh as hard and loud as we did, and not wake up the toddler.

If that doesn't do it for you, I've never laughed so hard at the stories my friend was telling at our Mom's Night Out dinner... the flames shooting out of the electrical panel while she and her toddler looked on in horror, her father-in-law, not an electrician, gently saying, "there's nothing to worry about. This is perfectly normal." The crazy neighbor down the street who accidentally rented her basement apartment to a registered sex offender. The grease flying off the Peking Duck in the traditional Peking restaurant, landing on a nearby restaurant goer's leather jacket, unbeknownst to her. Deciding which was worse: getting your shirts back from the dry cleaner with disintegrated buttons falling apart in your hands, or getting them back with no buttons at all.

If you can't laugh about grease and pepper grinders, what can you laugh about?

::

Addendum! Head on over to my pal K's blog at Interstitial-Life for extra fun. I'm guest posting! It's kind of like guest hosting the Grammy's, but not really.

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Random Thoughts: High Brow/Low Brow

It's Tuesday again! Go swing by and say Hi to Keely, she's having a rough one.

High Brow Random:

I met with author Svetlana Kim Monday morning. She is a real life super-heroine, who just published her memoir about her life as a Korean-Russian political refugee who escaped from Communist Russia. She got a blackmarket plane ticket, arrived in NYC with one dollar in her pocket, and, with the help of a complete stranger, hopped a bus to San Francisco. She was cleaning lady turned Hall-of-Fame stockbroker turned successful networker and head of a major women's organization. Her book, White Pearl and I, was published four weeks ago. I, humble and little old me, will be helping her with marketing! Look forward to book reviews and giveaways, maybe around Big 100. Not a radio station, sillies, posts.

Middle of the Road Random:

Have you ever tried blowing your nose while chewing? It's physically impossible.

Low Brow Random: WHO will lose her DREAM of marrying Jason .. FOREVER?

The Bachelor. Ah, the sweet taste of trash television.

I'm so mad, I'm so mad. Why did he have to fire the cool chick? Jillian was cool, that's why there's a bar chain named Jillian's.

And every time one of the girl's said, "I just really want to open up to him.." my husband and I snickered. Think, minds in the gutter. The only way we can get through it now is laughing at them. So, when Molly was giving him the Written Spanish Inquisition (her list of 100 questions) and said, the last question is "for later tonight", we had to come up with something about STDs.

HEY, I said it was low-brow.

:

Not Random At All: I thought it would be fun if my hubby played today. So, here goes:

"Hey, sweetie! Have you had any random thoughts today?"

"Nope!"

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Games Pandas Play

I love lists. I'm a big fan of making lists, even if "make a list" is on the list, because once the list is complete, I get to check that first item off. Check! Mama Kat's at it again, spacey and forgetful this week but with great prompts. I'm choosing the list. It feels like I'm accomplishing something.

3.) List your five most recent favorite things.

1. Panda Porn.
I had a meeting tonight for a committee I'm on for a volunteer organization to which I belong. One of my committee colleagues works at the National Zoo, which is very cool to the rest of us, and she was filling us in on Zoo stuff. The Zoo has two Great Pandas, and the Panda family is trying for another baby. Apparently, the male in question ("Tian Tian") isn't very good at making that happen. So, they showed them Panda Porn. You know, videos of actual Pandas mating in the wild, hoping it would.. get him in the mood. Show him some... pointers. (In the end, they had to artificially inseminate. Apparently, it's a buzz kill when the zookeeper is watching.)

2. Tar Heels beating the Blue Devils.
Whew! Dook was up by nine at one point! The elbow to Hansbrough's head was a nice touch.

3. Snark.
All things snarky. Why is snarky not in spellcheck?

4. Steven Pearlstein, columnist from the Washington Post.

5. Getting blog comments.

And this is just from today!

No hint there, with #5.

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