Random Tuesday Memes

And thoughts. Vodka Mom passively-tagged everyone to post 10 Random Things about themselves, as she did (in 8.) This fits perfectly with Keely's Tuesday Random Thoughts. I realize I posted my 25 Random Things meme just a month ago, but if I hadn't said that, you'd never have known. Plus, this one is intended to make you laugh. Let's see.



1. When I was 10, I was skiing all day with a friend near where I grew up in Upstate NY. I had to go to the bathroom very badly, but was stuck in the middle of the mountain, waiting for her. Since it really helped me to do the "pee dance" when I had to go even now as a kid, I wriggled and wriggled my butt back and forth, trying to focus my attention on my skies instead. So, I was bent over, literally wriggling my ass off , when I heard shouts from behind. I turned and was astonished to see the entire lift line above me, previously undetected, laughing their asses off.

2. Continue the theme. The thing that freaked me out the most when I was pregnant was, henceforth after the delivery, peeing a little when I laughed. I read this in one of those make-you-laugh-even-though-pregnancy-is-way-freaking-harder-than-anyone-warned-you books. An easy thing to obsess over!

3. Just after we'd adopted our two crazed, mentally-unstable, anxiety-ridden but adorable Labrador retriever mixes mutts Meritage blends, my husband, in grad school and "studying" from home, brought them to meet me for lunch. We tied them to the leg of my stool, where we were sitting outside the sidewalk cafe. When a man slammed his door shut a very scary 10 feet away, both dogs FLIPPED out and bolted, knocking me off and dragging said stool behind them. The line snapped, the stool bounced off of a nearby (newly dented) Explorer and the dogs went running around downtown Charlottesville. Traffic stopped, I ran after Echo, hubby ran after Cayuga, passersby pointed. "That way!" I nearly despaired several times, broke down to a traffic cop, followed the pointing. Broke down again, ran more, nearly got struck by several vehicles. And FOUND THEM. Scared, but safe.

4. I'm tired after all that running. Love Thai, hate Brussels sprouts.

5. I finished an entire box of Girl Scouts Thin Mints in three days while my husband wasn't home. (That's not funny, is it? That's disgusting.) 'S ok, I weigh less now than before my child was born and before my wedding in 2003.

6. This past Saturday, at the kid yoga class that I teach, we had an energizing, somewhat chaotic class and were in the middle of our imaginary "trip" to the "Magic Forest." Since it was Magic , anything was game. One kid said a frog prince. Another, a princess. A talking horse. Then, there was a quiet beat and one little girl said with a deep sigh, "a BED?"

7. I have very poor vision (-7.0) that only gets worse. I have always been self-conscious of this. At my last eye exam, I lead the witness teased my eye Doc that I was legally blind, "Right?" He said, carefully, "well.. the definition of legally blind is that you are not able to see 20/200 without correction. But you can be corrected!" Sweet.

8. Between this blog, your blog(s), comments, email, comments to email, Craiglist, freecycle, cyber stalking, trading alerts, playgroup reminders, writing, editing, re-writing, Mom's club listservs, "Hookah Times", Nigerian email scams, Facebook alerts and my Mom, I could spend all day long on the internet. And usually do.

9. For a short time, I worked at Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson. One day, Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg* made a surprise visit and the Director at the time asked me to take some photos of her around the grounds--incognito, as a tourist. This after several other employees turned down this hot, sought-after job. He handed me a disposable camera, and I started hiding, like regular paparazzi. When I spotted secret service types in the bushes spotting me, I turned the camera around and acted like I was taking my own self-portrait. To make this act more believable, I half-heartedly joined a group of tourists grouped, listening to a guide.. I never figured out if it was Japanese they were speaking.

10. Growing up, we had a wood-paneled Chrysler station wagon which, by the time I was 11, only had one door that was operational - the driver's side. Various incidents and accidents, mostly my Mom, were responsible, including the time my brother left the back left door open and she backed out of the garage, wrenching the door beyond its flex. Once crammed shut, never to open again. Thus, every time we went somewhere, we'd climb in and hop over seats. This is also the car whose engine we discovered a raccoon hiding out in. We kept him and named him "Bandit." (True story. I fed him hot dogs.)

* NOte: UNauthorized use of her name. She did really visit, and is a lovely person. But doesn't like cameras.