Monday, March 2, 2009

Random Tuesday Memes

And thoughts. Vodka Mom passively-tagged everyone to post 10 Random Things about themselves, as she did (in 8.) This fits perfectly with Keely's Tuesday Random Thoughts. I realize I posted my 25 Random Things meme just a month ago, but if I hadn't said that, you'd never have known. Plus, this one is intended to make you laugh. Let's see.


1. When I was 10, I was skiing all day with a friend near where I grew up in Upstate NY. I had to go to the bathroom very badly, but was stuck in the middle of the mountain, waiting for her. Since it really helped me to do the "pee dance" when I had to go even now as a kid, I wriggled and wriggled my butt back and forth, trying to focus my attention on my skies instead. So, I was bent over, literally wriggling my ass off , when I heard shouts from behind. I turned and was astonished to see the entire lift line above me, previously undetected, laughing their asses off.

2. Continue the theme. The thing that freaked me out the most when I was pregnant was, henceforth after the delivery, peeing a little when I laughed. I read this in one of those make-you-laugh-even-though-pregnancy-is-way-freaking-harder-than-anyone-warned-you books. An easy thing to obsess over!

3. Just after we'd adopted our two crazed, mentally-unstable, anxiety-ridden but adorable Labrador retriever mixes mutts Meritage blends, my husband, in grad school and "studying" from home, brought them to meet me for lunch. We tied them to the leg of my stool, where we were sitting outside the sidewalk cafe. When a man slammed his door shut a very scary 10 feet away, both dogs FLIPPED out and bolted, knocking me off and dragging said stool behind them. The line snapped, the stool bounced off of a nearby (newly dented) Explorer and the dogs went running around downtown Charlottesville. Traffic stopped, I ran after Echo, hubby ran after Cayuga, passersby pointed. "That way!" I nearly despaired several times, broke down to a traffic cop, followed the pointing. Broke down again, ran more, nearly got struck by several vehicles. And FOUND THEM. Scared, but safe.

4. I'm tired after all that running. Love Thai, hate Brussels sprouts.

5. I finished an entire box of Girl Scouts Thin Mints in three days while my husband wasn't home. (That's not funny, is it? That's disgusting.) 'S ok, I weigh less now than before my child was born and before my wedding in 2003.

6. This past Saturday, at the kid yoga class that I teach, we had an energizing, somewhat chaotic class and were in the middle of our imaginary "trip" to the "Magic Forest." Since it was Magic , anything was game. One kid said a frog prince. Another, a princess. A talking horse. Then, there was a quiet beat and one little girl said with a deep sigh, "a BED?"

7. I have very poor vision (-7.0) that only gets worse. I have always been self-conscious of this. At my last eye exam, I lead the witness teased my eye Doc that I was legally blind, "Right?" He said, carefully, "well.. the definition of legally blind is that you are not able to see 20/200 without correction. But you can be corrected!" Sweet.

8. Between this blog, your blog(s), comments, email, comments to email, Craiglist, freecycle, cyber stalking, trading alerts, playgroup reminders, writing, editing, re-writing, Mom's club listservs, "Hookah Times", Nigerian email scams, Facebook alerts and my Mom, I could spend all day long on the internet. And usually do.

9. For a short time, I worked at Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson. One day, Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg* made a surprise visit and the Director at the time asked me to take some photos of her around the grounds--incognito, as a tourist. This after several other employees turned down this hot, sought-after job. He handed me a disposable camera, and I started hiding, like regular paparazzi. When I spotted secret service types in the bushes spotting me, I turned the camera around and acted like I was taking my own self-portrait. To make this act more believable, I half-heartedly joined a group of tourists grouped, listening to a guide.. I never figured out if it was Japanese they were speaking.

10. Growing up, we had a wood-paneled Chrysler station wagon which, by the time I was 11, only had one door that was operational - the driver's side. Various incidents and accidents, mostly my Mom, were responsible, including the time my brother left the back left door open and she backed out of the garage, wrenching the door beyond its flex. Once crammed shut, never to open again. Thus, every time we went somewhere, we'd climb in and hop over seats. This is also the car whose engine we discovered a raccoon hiding out in. We kept him and named him "Bandit." (True story. I fed him hot dogs.)

* NOte: UNauthorized use of her name. She did really visit, and is a lovely person. But doesn't like cameras.


Jenners March 2, 2009 at 8:00 PM  

3 DAYS on the Thin Mints? How about 3 hours? Those things just melt away!

And I just tried Brussel Sprouts for the FIRST TIME last week. They weren't as bad as I expected ... I was trying to get my son to try them but couldn't stop making a face with each one so he didn't go for it. I thought they would be worse but there IS an aftertaste (it seemed to go away after 6 or 7).

Debbie March 2, 2009 at 9:10 PM  

Wonderful list. I love the peeing part. Of course, maybe that is just because I am the mother of 4.

J Cosmo Newbery March 3, 2009 at 1:09 AM  

A raccoon fed on hotdogs? I like that.

Anonymous,  March 3, 2009 at 4:27 AM  

The whole peeing thing - it's almost funny when it happens, but is also a little sad.

And on the bad eye sight front - I'm +6. If we combined our eyes we might actually be able to see! (I almost couldn't join the Navy because my eyes are so bad.)

Have a great day.

Anonymous,  March 3, 2009 at 4:58 AM  

3 DAYS to eat the box of Thin Mints? We need to talk. Seriously, you have to eat an entire sleeve in one sitting. So since there's only 2 sleeves per box...that's one sleeve for your afternoon snack and the 2nd sleeve for your nighttime snack. DONE!

Funny stuff!

Keely March 3, 2009 at 6:01 AM  

1. I fell off a T-Bar lift once and took everybody out on the way down.

2. Try doing jumping jacks.

3. Happy Tuesday!

Julie@Cool Mom Guide March 3, 2009 at 6:24 AM  

I have a thin mint story about high school, poking smot and lunch. I'll save that for another day. Where in upstate NY? I'm from Syracuse.

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures March 3, 2009 at 7:05 AM  

Yeah I can eat a box of thin mints in like 30 seconds...3 days is a definate improvement. Girl Scout cookies come in on friday and I am scared : )

buffalodick March 3, 2009 at 7:18 AM  

Making a woman laugh so hard she pees is tops on the fun-o-meter! Calling a raccoon "Bandit" is like calling a Dalmation "Spot"... Just kidding! All good stuff!

septembermom March 3, 2009 at 7:22 AM  

So funny! A couple of these could have been good material for a Seinfeld skit: chasing the dogs, the pee dance and the Monticello photo shoot. My vision is lousy too! My daughter insists that I wear glasses all day. I want to wear contacts again sometimes so I can "pretend" to have good vision:)

mielikki March 3, 2009 at 7:45 AM  

thin mints. I like them especially when they are frozen. But they are MM's favorite so I hold back some....

Anonymous,  March 3, 2009 at 7:51 AM  

I laughed at the mental image of you hunkered down and wiggling your butt at a ski resort. Too funny!

GreenJello March 3, 2009 at 8:11 AM  

3 days to eat a box of Thin Mints?


Sprite's Keeper March 3, 2009 at 8:28 AM  

I think you HAD to finish the Thin Mints in 3 days. If your husband got any, you would be lacking. So, good for you!

Ryan@Cool Dad Central March 3, 2009 at 8:49 AM  

No one is expected to deny the goodness that is Girl Scouts Thin Mints...

High Heeled Mama March 3, 2009 at 11:09 AM  

3 days to devour Thin Mints sounds like restraint.

And eyesight...I'm at 8 and 8.5, so I feel your pain.

Kim March 3, 2009 at 11:52 AM  

Love the stationwagon story. We had the same one but it was our marroon vw bus with a mosaic of the grand canyon on the windows that brings back too many funny memories.

After I had my son, I too lost all the weight and an extra five pounds (I had gained 55lbs). But now that I'm back to work sitting all day long, thinking about all the snacks offered down at the coffee cart, I can see a few pounds creeping back on. AGGGGHHHH!

Vodka Mom March 3, 2009 at 1:09 PM  

holy shit - you did it in TEN!!!

you bitch.

Vodka Mom March 3, 2009 at 1:09 PM  

and yeah, I pee everytime I sneeze.

jen March 3, 2009 at 1:48 PM  

are you still in charlottesville? we lived there for a few years! beautiful place to live.
love this list! you made me giggle all the way through ... but not hard enough to peealittle. maybe next time. and the comment about trying jumping jacks. i, firsthand, had the experience of trying to teach my daughter those this weekend ... from now on ... the teaching of that skill has been forwarded to my husband.

J Cosmo Newbery March 3, 2009 at 1:56 PM  

Thank you for the link.

You may be interested in my thoughts on Brussels Sprouts here

Jeanne March 3, 2009 at 5:48 PM  

Old Dog put our Thin Mints in the freezer till after Lent. Which brings up the question: what genius decided to run the Girl Scout Cookie Orgy-thon at Lent?

Shangrila March 3, 2009 at 6:53 PM  

LOL-your story about skiing reminded me of a picture book that we have called Ruthie's Big Red Coat-two little girls zip themselves into a coat and then can't get out when one of them needs to pee.

I'm so glad that you got your dogs back-I know how scary and frustrating that can be!

I'm not sure that I've had brussel sprouts, though I'm willing to try almost anything if it's drenched in butter and salt! I'd eat thin mints for dessert. :)

FoN March 3, 2009 at 7:46 PM  

Every time I hear a ski story I think of this poor five year old kid I mowed over when I was totally out of control.

Love your blog!

Janna Bee March 4, 2009 at 8:21 AM  

I agree with Jenners, three days shows remarkable restraint!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy March 4, 2009 at 2:34 PM  

OMG, I am totally going to admit something I have not told anyone else. The other day, *whispers* I kind of peed my pants a little! That has NEVER happened to me, even when I was pregnant. What does that mean? Now I am scared I am on my way to depends--not very sexy!

CDB March 4, 2009 at 8:33 PM  

Ok.... ok. Truth? I wound up having an emergency C-section, so I never actually had to deal with peeing when I laughed. Or sneezed. Or did jumping jacks.

But getting you all to admit it was a lot of fun. (:

Casey March 4, 2009 at 8:36 PM  

I knew someone with the same clunker of a station wagon and the door was busted too.

You ate a box of thin mints in THREE days? I've eaten a box a day for the past three. I think I have a problem.

I spend all day on the blog too, trying to play catchup. It's like an unpaid job sometimes.



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