Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Writer's Workshop: Crime and Punishment

Mama Kat's Writing Workship (workship? What is that? Are we all out to sea? A ship you work on? Like a navy ship?) Workshop chosen prompt:
4.) What inspired you? Write about a time when you were impassioned to write.
(writingfix.com)

Dear Mr. F'x County Police Officer Who Gave Me a Parking Ticket In Front of My Own House Last Week:

I understand there is a budget shortfall the likes of which you've never experienced in the County. I understand better than anyone Sir, because I bought a HOUSE in this County. That makes me a TAXPAYER. That means I pay YOUR salary. And just because harsh reality bites, and there is no more money in the police budget for doughnuts, it does NOT mean you get to go around ticketing random cars. In the rain. At 7:30PM at night. All sneaky, when we didn't see you do it and the useless dogs didn't alert us to the moonlight sanity RAID.

It was bad enough peeling the wet ticket(s) off our TWO cars that were sporting TWO tickets... God forbid we see any curtains peeled back for idle snickering from neighbors.

We had a lot of SNOW last week, and our road was covered in the white fluffy stuff ALL DAY because the COUNTY did not come to plow it. This has been the case the past two winters, and up until now, has been acceptable. Because I did not have to PAY to park in front of my own HOUSE. This is no longer acceptable.

Honestly, if I saw you do it, I think we would have had a raucous laugh:
"Oh, what in the world do you think you're doing? I live here, Sir!"
"Oh, ma'am, do you live here? What a nice place. Listen, I need ya to swing her around for me."
"Swing her around?"
"You're parked facing the wrong way."
(Here, I would pause, with a half smile creeping over my face.)
"Oh, you're KIDDING! You don't ACTUALLY spend POLICE time keeping track of which way people are parked in their NEIGHBORHOODS, when bad guys are out there STEALING CARS and FIRING UNLICENSED WEAPONS! Right?"
"Ha, ha. Yes, ha, ha. Got me. I was only joshing. But it woulda sucked if I'd given ya a ticket! Yeppers!"

That could have, would have, and should have, been a funny story for my blog. INSTEAD, I am forced to write this nagging letter explaining to you why you are wasting valuable tax dollars using up gas to patrol around looking for CRIMINAL PARKING ACTIVITY.

Because this crime was so ludicrous in nature, and because other crimes I have committed that went unpunished were SO MUCH WORSE, I have decided to write my Congressman and tell him that we need you to direct traffic at the preschool for the next nine years.

Sincerely,

Mad, Mad Ma'am

21 comments:

♥ Kathy March 11, 2009 at 10:24 PM  

Oh I'm with ya girl. It's ridiculous that you got a ticket for facing the wrong way!! Oh wait, I'm sorry, TWO TICKETS :o I would be much, much madder than you are lol

K March 12, 2009 at 4:49 AM  

Oh yuck - that sucks.

I hate parking tickets - especially when so many people park in much dumber spots than I've even considered using.

Debbie March 12, 2009 at 5:30 AM  

I keep reading about how tickets are on a huge increase in this economy but this takes the cake! I am so sorry!

~ Denise ~ March 12, 2009 at 7:07 AM  

Crazy! Reminds me of the time my car got towed because I parked in front of my townhouse due to the huge mound of snow in my regular parking space. Needless to say, I had to pay the guy $100 before he would take the car off the lift. **ugh**

Casey March 12, 2009 at 7:08 AM  

Youch, that sucks. I like how they have to up the number of ticket written to save the economy. Doesn't make sense. Parking the wrong way in front of your own house doesn't warrant the time it took to write the ticket.

That.Girl March 12, 2009 at 8:17 AM  

Stoppin' by from Mama Kat's.

That sucks! I know it's illegal to park the wrong way, especially if you're hit, but a ticket!!! Tha's just rediculous.

buffalodick March 12, 2009 at 8:23 AM  

Reminds me of an old song- "I Fought The Law And The Law Won"...

Summer March 12, 2009 at 10:13 AM  

Ooooh, that would tick me off....

Like ticketing people, especially in this economy where most can't even pay it, is going to help matters.

mielikki March 12, 2009 at 10:15 AM  

un believable! I would laugh hysterically while making those tickets confetti, fighting all the way.

CDB March 12, 2009 at 1:10 PM  

@ALL: Thank you all, so VERY much for the support.

Now if everyone would kindly chip in two bucks for the tickets. (Just kidding. They've been paid.)

April March 12, 2009 at 2:38 PM  

My brother lives in Arlington, TX and the cops are so bad about that. I know they better things to do with their time.

Brooke March 12, 2009 at 3:47 PM  

I'll bite my tongue on this one.

Jeanne March 12, 2009 at 5:17 PM  

Ugh, I hate tickets. They're such a waste of money!

septembermom March 12, 2009 at 6:38 PM  

Those tickets don't make any sense. I'm sure there are plenty of "real" driving offenders out there to keep these ticket writers busy!

blueviolet March 12, 2009 at 6:41 PM  

What? This makes no sense. What a waste of law enforcement.

Jenners March 12, 2009 at 7:12 PM  

This is utterly ridiculous and stupid. I would be sooooooo mad. Unbelievable.

H.K. March 12, 2009 at 10:04 PM  

I've noticed that police hand out more parking tickets towards the end of the month...to get their ticket quote in!

I love your writing style and you're blog is WAY COOL!

Dani March 13, 2009 at 8:13 AM  

Wow! Talk about making a statement. Hope it goes a long way! Here here!

Namine March 13, 2009 at 11:37 AM  

seriously a ticket on your on front lawn. thats stupid. hope you didn't have to pay it

Mama Kat March 13, 2009 at 10:37 PM  

You've GOT to be kidding me. How ridiculous is that...I hope you're fighting it!!!

MarvelousMOM March 16, 2009 at 2:16 AM  

That is ridiculous. I'd be livid. I see this all the time but never heard of anyone getting ticketed before.

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