Sunday, May 3, 2009

Parenting Traps

Every weekend, I teach a kid yoga class at a nearby community center. It's fun, it's high-energy, and a packed morning of 3-5 year olds doing yoga with Mom (or Dad!) Every week, I learn of new parenting styles I wasn't previously aware of. And it's FASCINATING.

The Helicopter Mom
Hovering over her charge, the Helicopter Mom pulls, pushes, prods, pokes, holds up and scolds her youngster into each and every pose. When doing introductions, the kid barely has time to get out a syllable before the question is repeated: WHAT IS YOUR NAME, ______?

The AH-64 Apache Mom
AH-64 Apache is the Army's primary attack helicopter. It is a quick-reacting, airborne weapon system that can fight close and deep to destroy, disrupt, or delay enemy forces. 'Nuff said.

"Hold the Whistle" Mom
These Moms have overactive preschoolers who don't want to sit. Or lay down. Or do the pose. Or listen. But they really want to work on this "autonomy" thing, so they sit back.. for a time.. and let the kids do what they will. Before stepping in to call foul.

The "Really Want to Hold the Whistle but JUST CAN'T" Mom
These Moms are beside themselves, trying to sit back for a time.. but they JUST CAN'T. They might let 'em try to get into said pose themselves, but more often than not, they're going to reach over and yank the back up, or the legs down. These tend to be the "constant chatter" moms, who are telling their kids what is is they should be doing differently.

The Sweet Lovin' Mom
These Moms are all love, all the time. Granted, they tend to have the sweetheart kids who do exactly what they are supposed to be doing, most (if not all) of the time. I would like to order one of these children for my next child. Please.

The "Let 'Em Ride" Mom
I once had a Mom who would leave her child in the room for quite a few minutes while she went to the bathroom (and, I assume, make a few phone calls and perhaps, run a few errands.) The child seemed used to this casual abandonment, so I assumed this was their mother-daughter M.O.

The Creator of Doubt Mom
Sometimes, we go around with cards or animals and the children can choose which pose they want to learn together. The child selects a card and..
"Do you really want to choose that yoga card to do? Wait! Don't you want this one? Do you really want to choose that animal pose? But you like froggies!"

We all do it. Some of the time. Well, maybe that's just me. What kind of style are you?
(P.S. My son loves to show off his yoga poses. I might share one of these days.)


Anonymous,  May 4, 2009 at 3:55 AM  

I honestly don't know what kind of mom I am these days. I'm probably somewhat like a hold the whistle mom. J is a wild man so I struggle sometimes.

So glad you're back in blogland.

septembermom May 4, 2009 at 4:32 AM  

I think I may be a mix of styles sometimes. I could see myself falling into the trap of the Creator of Doubt mom. This is such a fun post. You have me smiling. The kid yoga class is a great idea. I wish I could be there:)

Roger D. Casterlilne,  May 4, 2009 at 12:38 PM  

My name is Roger D. Casterline and I am the author of, "The IKE Disease." I see so many good writings advising parents on raising their children. IKE is different in that it encourages the reader (teenagers) to make choices leading to a successful, happy life. For additional information please visit my website at: God Bless!!!

Jeanne May 4, 2009 at 4:32 PM  

I'd say that I was a "Hold the Whistle" mom, but I'm pretty sure my daughter would have chosen helicopter (hopefully, not the Apache one).

She's grown up to be kind of a "Hold the Whistle" mom (her partner is totally the Lovin' Mom), so maybe I was!

Casey May 4, 2009 at 5:42 PM  

Oy. I think I'm definitely a "Hold The Whistle" mom. Someday I want to be a "Doesn't have to intervene since her kid is actually behaving" mom. Think there's a chance?

Sometimes Sophia May 5, 2009 at 6:26 AM  

Wow... sounds like a lot of mommy stress vibes are filling the room. Tell 'em to chill.

Jenners May 6, 2009 at 7:33 PM  

Well, I WISH I was sweet loving mom but I'm probably more of the "want to hold the whistle but can't" mom. And I know just the type of mom you are talking about with the "Let Em Ride" mom ... I see far too many of them around!



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