Monday, May 18, 2009

The Baby Grows Up

Let's continue with the "baby of the family" theme.. and then quickly leave it. Youngest kids always have the worst A.D.D.

What was that noise?

Oh yes. As the 3rd of three kids, I was always surrounded by people.. and activity.. and people. So as I grew up, I grew into a strong preference to have people around. To need them around. In my adult years, those of you familiar with Myers-Briggs personality test will know what it means that I was "off the chart" E--for Extrovert. Strong preference for people.

I've found that being a Stay-at-Home-Mom, unlike a lot of other occupations, can often be very isolating. This is something I didn't expect, and the one thing I'm having the most trouble with.

That, and the fact that I can't hear myself think over the Vivaldi. And can't control my A.D.D.

This morning, we had our big "preschool is ending"/graduation/last week of the session/wasn't it great/won't we miss our sporadic 3-hours of freedom two days per week- picnic party at a park.

People and Picnic Party at a Park.
PEOPLE=makes me very happy to be around friends. Those with whom I can chat with endlessly. About endless topics.
PICNIC=food. Makes me very happy. Very, very happy. See pregnant post.
PARTY=see "People"
PARK=makes toddler very, very happy. He has sand in the sandbox. Equipment to climb. Slides to slide down. Running around to do. Arms to wave in the air.

So, there we are, in our Utopian park village, among people. We were doing well, eating, chatting, climbing, and being happy. It was chilly 55 degrees, but the sun was out. Then the coughing started. He was getting over a cough from this weekend, and I'd thought he'd kicked it. He had what I can only summarize as a very uncomfortable (for him and for me) coughing fit, and for a 2.5 minute period, the poor guy could barely catch his breath.

I knew we had to leave. I gathered our stuff, and, clutching my Tupperware, said some quick goodbyes, and we walked out toward the car. The coughing stopped. He complained about leaving. Sometimes Irony walks up and socks you in the jaw. And then runs away, really fast.

As I walked, tears began to well up in my eyes, knowing we were going home to an empty.. isolating.. lacking of people.. house. (That seems really silly now, in hindsight. But it happened.)

Even when I worked in an interior cube in a big Bank, surrounded by introverts as an Analyst, I would still pop out to visit other Bank friends, or pop downstairs for a coffee or smoothie.. or chat with my therapist-dry cleaner. I could satisfy the need to see people if I needed.

Now, it's not always an option. Nothing has really prepared me for that.

10 comments:

mielikki May 18, 2009 at 12:27 PM  

I am the youngest of three, as well, and used to really struggle when I was single, and living alone. I adjusted, though, then met MM, and now I HATE to be alone, again.
aaaargh!

K May 18, 2009 at 12:27 PM  

And that is why I blog.

I get lonely. But I know there is always a blog to read and conversation online.

It's makes me feel a little lame, but it is a heck of a lot better than nothing.

Sorry you missed your party.

Mama Kat May 18, 2009 at 2:41 PM  

You know...I'm an introvert and I have to say that staying home with little adult interaction is tough for even ME. I can only imagine how hard it must be for the socially inclined.

That's what blogging is for right!?! We can talk to each other and interact with out kids at the same time.

Kind of.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I can't wait to "meet" the new bebe!

Kim May 18, 2009 at 5:27 PM  

You're right. When I was on my yearlong mat leave, I felt very isolated at times. I also found it hard to make friends since our playgroups were usually fairly short and a lot of the moms came in groups because they were already friends.

Kitten May 18, 2009 at 7:03 PM  

I was hospitalized with the flu five years ago. I was all alone in this little room, with no human interaction except for nurses coming in for five minute intervals. I really missed being surrounded by people.

I like my current situation because I'm surrounded by people during the day, but at night I can be alone and recharge my batteries. I think it's a good balance.

Nicki and Mathis May 18, 2009 at 7:16 PM  

Thanks for stopping by my blog last week on my SITS day! I love the name of your blog.

Casey May 18, 2009 at 9:19 PM  

Ok, move here and we can hang out. I sat in my kid's room and cried today because he kept dumping his baskets of toys out after I had just cleaned his room for the umpteenth time. It's lonely and I think (hope) we all break over silly things.

septembermom May 19, 2009 at 6:17 AM  

Blogging also helps me feel connected to other people. It is a very lonely life here at home. I need conversation and interaction. It feels like a long day with kids and laundry. I'm sorry that you were not able to stay at the party. I so understand your sadness and frustration when you lost a chance to connect with other moms.

buffalodick May 19, 2009 at 8:12 AM  

I was born to be a people person. I too, have the attention span of a ferret. I also had to be a people person as an outside sales rep for over 30 years. If anything will cure you of feeling lonely, and make you long for a quieter existence- that will... Too much of anything is bad for you.

Jenners May 19, 2009 at 5:27 PM  

Being a stay-at-home mom is very isolating ... but I think it suits me because I'm not a real "people" person ... I get tired out by having to socialize too much! I think that is why blogging is such a good fit for me ... it is a connection to other grown-ups but without the pain of having to avoid someone who you actually don't really want to see that often in real life!

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