Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Writer's Workshop: Horrid Tastes from my 20s

From MamaKat's Writing Workshop, my chosen prompt: 5.) What is an unpleasant experience you had eating? Write a poem, paragraph, or something else about the experience.

How 'bout a novella? I'm going to share this story with everyone, in the hopes that I might save someone else the horribleness of it. And if you're reading this on Facebook, there is a minute chance you are in this story. Minute.. say.. one-half of one percent. 50 bps for you finance folks. 50 pts if you figure out who you are.

My first job out of college. Ah, what an adventure. I was recruited
by a large wholesale plumbing distributor for their "Management Trainee" program, which is a pseudonym for "bitch" and "do whatever anyone tells you to do" and ridiculous crazy things like lift 135-lb Kohler sinks and drive forklifts (withOUT knocking down a pallet of bathtubs.) What I struggled, whined, got dirty and foul-mouthed from did at this job is irrelevant, the important point is it was nearly 99% MALE. Men in the warehouse, men in inside sales, men in outside sales, men in management. This was good training for later in my career, when I'd work on a testosterone-crazed trading floor.

We'd all hang out a lot, the trainee guys and me. We'd have little happy hours with the ONE or two other ladies and all the guys.. going to relatively nice places with pool tables and quality beer. At one relatively nice place that we frequented, one night I was surrounded by a bunch of my male colleagues, and shots were ordered. No, I didn't become the drunk victim of shots.. it's so much worse than that.

There is a shot called a "Cement Mixer." Have you heard of this? I had never heard of this. One was ordered, a challenge was presented, and attention was being paid. And, since I'll do anything for attention (see: blog creation), I was game.

This particular shot is two shots.. (Bailey's Irish Cream and lime juice); you take one just after the other. Then, in some nightmarish scene out of a horror chemistry experiment, the liquid solidifies in your mouth.. .curdled Bailey's. All eyes were on me as I choked, struggled, became increasingly confused, and then... yep. Shot it back like a pro. Swallowed.

HUGE cheers erupted. "You guys suck," and "what a horrible prank," and "never coming out with you guys again", were barely audible. I think I actually got slapped on the back, like this was some sick, twisted initiation rite for being able to sell plumbing equipment.

So, my 20s were filled with learning experiences. No matter how much someone bets, cons, pays or bribes you, under no circumstances do you EVER do a Cement Mixer shot.


Life with Kaishon April 8, 2009 at 8:57 PM  

Oh my good heavens! That sounds horrid! I am glad you survived!

Casey April 9, 2009 at 4:05 AM  

Oh yeah, nasty. Don't ever try an Irish Car Bomb for the same reason. I drank one under similar circumstances, had to go puke in the bathroom and then came back to drink two more. I looked like a heavy weight that night but I was barely able to keep the second two down.

Casey April 9, 2009 at 4:06 AM  

Hehe, why do I suddenly want to move to Delaware and look for a job?

Anonymous,  April 9, 2009 at 4:11 AM  

Duly noted. Twice.

septembermom April 9, 2009 at 5:14 AM  

Thanks for the advice. Since my 20s are long gone, my chances of being near a bar or a drink are slim to nil. I give you credit for getting that shot down. All the big guys must have thought you were one tough "chick". I would've probably wimped out.

Hit 40 April 9, 2009 at 5:52 AM  

It's 8:52 am. And now I want to mix a drink!!

buffalodick April 9, 2009 at 6:09 AM  

Around here it was a drink called a bloody brain- same floating mass that looked like a brain...

Jeanne April 9, 2009 at 8:06 AM  

Dear god, that sounds disgusting. Shudder.

Don't suppose you have pictures?

Anonymous,  April 9, 2009 at 8:44 AM  

I too worked with way too many and drank things I ever should have drank.

(I'm still technically in my 20's for another few months - want to go out and be stupid?)

Debbie April 9, 2009 at 11:28 AM  

Yet another experience I am hearing about that I am glad I never had. Thanks!

mielikki April 9, 2009 at 4:52 PM  

Eugh. They are lucky you didn't spray Cement all over them. I hope paybacks were, indeed, a bitch....

Frogs in my formula April 9, 2009 at 6:13 PM  

Yuuuuuuuuck. That sounds terrible. I tried a skater on acid shot once and almost threw up. I stick with what I know now (not that I'm out doing many shots these days...)

Jenners April 10, 2009 at 5:48 AM  

That sounds beyond gross. Ick. But you gained their everlasting respect so I think it was probably worth it! : )

Kim April 10, 2009 at 5:59 PM  

Oh the twenties...thank god their over. I cringe thinking about some of the things I did or experienced.

Yes the bike trailer attaches to mountain bikes and it is not as awkward as I thought it would be. Deaglan just loved it. I was breathless sore but hopefully practice will help that;)



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