Sunday, April 26, 2009

When Brains Shut Down: Next on Fox

Something about blogging just makes it an honest sport. There's nobody across from your laptop, checking your facts. Nobody is standing over you, arguing that the story you just typed out did not go exactly as you'd described it. It's a free-form creation of art, each little piece you choose to drum up, craft, create, and push-button publish.

It's sitting in a roomful of strangers (or, happily, former strangers,) confessing, guessing, undressing (?) and blessing. Very liberating, indeed.

Which is why I find it easier to confess my greatest faults on here. At the two 2nd-year old birthday parties we attended this weekend, upon meeting new parents-o-toddler friends, I didn't break out with, "I really don't ever finish anything that I start." Or, watching the happy kiddo chomp his first bite of yummy birthday cake, I didn't make the announcement, "the less productive I am in my life, the harder it is for me to get anything productive done."

Lately, I just don't feel like a productive member of society. Sure, raising the next generation of responsible and self-respecting adults is an important task, but really.. does it matter if it's me all the time?

Don't get me wrong, I really and truly love being home with my son, and I'm (honestly) grateful and not ever bitter about thrown wet food, crayon markings and Diaper Champs that I can.

But I constantly ask myself if parts of my brain are shutting down their operation, either for 10 weeks this summer, or for forever.

So, I've gotten myself on a very busy volunteer committee for a service organization I'm a part of. I'm in charge of the raffle at the MOMs club picnic. I'm still teaching yoga. I trade stocks during our most volatile moves in the market.

And now, I've set my sights on finding the next great deal in real estate. We live in a real estate market that is predicted to rebound more quickly than other areas of the country. With rates low, and some opportunities out there, I've designated myself the temporary real estate Queen of the house. (With a roll of the eyes):

We'll see how it goes.

::
"It leaves ya baby, if you don't care for it.."
One, U2

9 comments:

Casey April 26, 2009 at 8:08 PM  

There are days where I question why I even have a brain since the diapers/naps/meals are monotonous. I get the balance of loving being home with the kids but also wanting more... you may have just encouraged me to do more too. Unless there's a nap up for grabs cause I'll pick nap any day.

Good luck with the house hunting and volunteering!

K April 27, 2009 at 3:55 AM  

Good luck with the house hunting.

I think it's important to have a little more. I'm happy with a little work, a little blogging and kid chasing. Just just kid chasing and scrapbooking/crafts - I'd totally lose my mind.

Kim April 27, 2009 at 6:41 AM  

I think you're on the right track. From the outside your life seems really full. What's missing? A job that you don't like going to? That's the only difference between you and all of the working moms. It's funny how we try to justify things from our own points of view...like me thinking daycare is sooooo good for him. But would I be thinking that if I could stay hoome with him?

mielikki April 27, 2009 at 8:47 AM  

house hunting is a job in itself. I still shudder when I think back on it...
blogs are a great outlet, aren't they? And yes, staying busy is important...

buffalodick April 27, 2009 at 8:53 AM  

I took an early retirement, and have watched my ability to multitask dwindle..What really concerns me is- I don't care! I wanted to slow down, not stop!

septembermom April 27, 2009 at 10:11 AM  

Blogging has really been a wonderful way to have something just for me. Having been home with the kids for 12 years, I always fear that I'm not doing enough to express me. It is good to have other outlets. Good luck with your volunteer efforts and househunting!!

Jeanne April 27, 2009 at 3:55 PM  

"There's nobody across from your laptop, checking your facts. Nobody is standing over you, arguing that the story you just typed out did not go exactly as you'd described it."

Clearly, you do not live at my house.

Blicky Kitty April 28, 2009 at 7:31 PM  

All good ideas. However, I prefer to languish in my intellectual morass of a life while I still can. I'm enjoying every second on Webkinz and sweetie don't throw ponies at your sister because sooner or later people will be expecting me to finish PhD's or find gainful employment or some other horrible thing like that.

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