Writer's Workshop: Horrid Tastes from my 20s

From MamaKat's Writing Workshop, my chosen prompt: 5.) What is an unpleasant experience you had eating? Write a poem, paragraph, or something else about the experience.

How 'bout a novella? I'm going to share this story with everyone, in the hopes that I might save someone else the horribleness of it. And if you're reading this on Facebook, there is a minute chance you are in this story. Minute.. say.. one-half of one percent. 50 bps for you finance folks. 50 pts if you figure out who you are.

My first job out of college. Ah, what an adventure. I was recruited by a large wholesale plumbing distributor for their "Management Trainee" program, which is a pseudonym for "bitch" and "do whatever anyone tells you to do" and ridiculous crazy things like lift 135-lb Kohler sinks and drive forklifts (withOUT knocking down a pallet of bathtubs.) What I struggled, whined, got dirty and foul-mouthed from did at this job is irrelevant, the important point is it was nearly 99% MALE. Men in the warehouse, men in inside sales, men in outside sales, men in management. This was good training for later in my career, when I'd work on a testosterone-crazed trading floor.

We'd all hang out a lot, the trainee guys and me. We'd have little happy hours with the ONE or two other ladies and all the guys.. going to relatively nice places with pool tables and quality beer. At one relatively nice place that we frequented, one night I was surrounded by a bunch of my male colleagues, and shots were ordered. No, I didn't become the drunk victim of shots.. it's so much worse than that.

There is a shot called a "Cement Mixer." Have you heard of this? I had never heard of this. One was ordered, a challenge was presented, and attention was being paid. And, since I'll do anything for attention (see: blog creation), I was game.

This particular shot is two shots.. (Bailey's Irish Cream and lime juice); you take one just after the other. Then, in some nightmarish scene out of a horror chemistry experiment, the liquid solidifies in your mouth.. .curdled Bailey's. All eyes were on me as I choked, struggled, became increasingly confused, and then... yep. Shot it back like a pro. Swallowed.

HUGE cheers erupted. "You guys suck," and "what a horrible prank," and "never coming out with you guys again", were barely audible. I think I actually got slapped on the back, like this was some sick, twisted initiation rite for being able to sell plumbing equipment.

So, my 20s were filled with learning experiences. No matter how much someone bets, cons, pays or bribes you, under no circumstances do you EVER do a Cement Mixer shot.